Agnus dei Hunted by your sins
by Lilithxfic
Summary: Chapter 12: “ I figured as much. So…if I tell you that, the only way for your baby brother to get out of here alive is, for you to give up on your life…what would you say?”. His captor asked. FINAL CHAPTER UP! Please r&r! :
1. Chapter 1

**Note: I don't own supernatural. I don't own Sam and Dean either. **

**I love to read reviews and I try to answer them always when I can. So don't be shy and gimme your opinion :-)**

**Supernatural : Agnus Dei – Hunted by your sins ( it's not the translation) just the title.**

**Summary: Dean is being hunted. He becomes the prey of something he never learned how to deal with. Sam is dragged along trying to save him and try to figure this one out. **

Sam walked back into their motel room, in his hands; there were two coffees and some M&M's.

He opened the door and immediately placed the coffees on the table in a hurry and ran to Dean.

He was lying on the floor unconscious.

" Dean!" Sam said in panic putting his brother's head on his lap trying to wake him up.

The last hunt had not been that great. They were after a couple of vampires. The bastards got the smarts.

Eve though they had went after them well prepared; the vampires were able to put up a hell of fight. After all, they had some upper hand.

After turning the female vampire into ashes, the male one was more than pissed and that was never good.

Needless to say the boys had a pretty hard time to take him down. Sam succeeded in sending the vampire's sorry ass back to wherever he belonged. Dean didn't have the same luck, when Sam turned to check on Dean and brag about his victory, he found his brother knocked to the floor, not moving.

He called 911 and did his best until the ambulance arrived and quickly took him to the hospital.

He was not in a good shape. The doctors worked on him for hours as Dean's heart stopped for a few minutes. The thing had been worse than Sam thought.

Luckily, Dean was a stubborn asshole, and no vampires would make him say good bye to this world easily. Soon, Dean was back and his hearting was beating once again.

The doctors gave Sam the news and explained to him all they had to do, and that his condition was not the best, but he'd would be just fine, as long as he rested and gave himself time to heal. Sam smiled and thanked the doctor before he asked for permission to get in and see Dean.

Sam opened the door slowly and spotted Dean, still asleep on his bed. Making a move inside the room he also spotted something unexpected There was an old woman sitting on a chair. The woman was a nun, she had her head hung down, her hands together and eyes closed, as if she was in deep concentration. When she heard the door being opened she looked at Sam offering him a smile.

" Sorry, I am always in the hospital, praying for the poor souls who end up here. This is a strong one." She said getting up and heading to Sam.

" It's alright. It's just the first time I walk into a room a see a nun praying for my brother" Sam revealed his surprised as he expected a hot nurse to be taking care of Dean or something like that.

" I suppose you want to be alone with him. I am going to leave you two alone".

" Thanks" He said watching the old lady exit the room and close the door.

He pulled a chair close to Dean's bed and waited. Thank God he was stubborn.

Several hours had passed by, and Sam fell asleep on his chair. Some nurses came by and checked on him. They were very nice, always offering Sam coffee and other things. The doctor explained Dean was probably taking a while to wake up, due all the process he'd been through.

When Dean woke, he smiled, as the first thing he saw was his brother's asleep by the bed.

" Rise and shine sleep beauty" Dean said touching Sam's shoulder.

Sam took a few seconds to wake up and remember where he was. He saw his brother, looking at him with a grin.

" Hey, how are you feeling?" Sam asked taking a good look at Dean.

" Like if I was knocked out… Oh wait, wait, I was knocked out. That must be why" Dean said giving his best smile.

" It was a little worse big bro, your heart stopped for a few minutes, you scared the crap out of the doctors and me as well".

" Hey, I am the hero, we don't die so easily. Besides, I wouldn't give you the pleasure of getting rid of me".

Sam let out a laugh. " Right, I am glad you are ok though."

" That was cute Sammy!" Dean said making fun. " Did we at least get the bastards?"

" Yeah, they are no longer a problem"

" Good, cause they were getting on my nerves"

After this incident, Sam decided to let Dean heal first before heading to another gig, so he rented a decent motel room and tried to keep Dean as quiet as possible. Which he knew, was not piece of cake thing o do.

Two days had passed, and Dean had been acting a little weird from time to time. Sam didn't care much, after all, It was Dean he was talking about, he was weird and he had been close to death so… why bother?

That morning he left his brother sleeping on his bed and went for coffee. Things were normal when he left, so, he didn't expect to find Dean lying on the floor like that when he got back.

" Dean, come on man!" Sam tried some slaps on Dean's face. " Wake up…don't make me take you back to the hospital".

Sam hated those situations, he knew what to do in emergencies, of course, the pressure bothered him a lot. To have someone's life depending on his actions made him more nervous than any supernatural shit they had handled.

" Dean?" Sam asked when his brother slightly began opening his eyes. " That's right, take it easy"

" Sam" He whispered looking around, scared. He still was in their room…

" What happened?" Sam asked helping his brother stand up.

" Not sure" His eyes were quickly double checking the whole room, as if he wanted to make sure there was none else there.

" Are you feeling ok? Should I call your doctor?"

" No, I am fine, it's just… I thought I might have seen someone or something here"

" What was it? A ghost?"

" It looked a lot like… like me" Dean was still confused and kinda mumbling.

" You sure? The pain killers are pretty strong Dean, could have been just your imagination" Sam reached for the bag to check the pill's jar.

" I know what I saw ok? I didn't even take those".

" You should have, the doctor said it'd help."

" Bigger picture here! Something was in this room and I have no idea of what happened!"

Sam put the jar back and reached for the EMF. The signal was low, but definitely getting something.

" Something was here indeed, it has left now. Could have been another shape shifter".

Dean shook his head and checked the EMF signal.

" No, it was something else. The eyes were not glowing. It sent chills down my spine alright?"

" If that wasn't a shape shifter than, what was it? And why does it have your looks… again?"

" Beats me! These things are getting quite personal. This one seems to have issues with me".

" You have a natural gift to piss things and people off". Dean rolled his eyes and sat on the bed.

" Explain what happened ok? We gotta start somewhere". Sam asked opening his laptop.

" There isn't much to say. I woke up with a noise, thought it was you. I got up, called your name a couple of times and when I turned my back… there it was… looking just like me. He just looked deeply into my eyes, not moving, not making a sound…suddenly I feel dizzy, breathless and my heart was tight… and my head was heavy… that's all I can remember".

" Great, just great. Have you seen anything similar to this in dad's journal?"

" No, not a single case".

" I guess we have to wait then. We don't have a start point".

" I don't wanna wait, what if it shows up again? I'll be defenceless, you will be as well".

" Ok, let's check for medical records of people who had the same symptoms you did. It's a start".

Sam took his laptop and started hacking into medical systems looking for similarities.

" There were a few cases Dean, the only problem is… they happened in different places… Chicago, Miami, Colorado…those aren't exactly supernatural symptoms".

" Says you college boy". Dean reached for the coffee Sam brought and right after he took his keys.

" Where are you going?" Sam asked also drinking his coffee.

" For a drive, I am sick of staying stuck in this room."

" You are supposed to be resting Dean, besides, what if thing decides to go after you?" Sam blocked the door.

" I'll be quick, just need to get some fresh air Sammy. Keep looking for local medical records alright?"

He pushed Sam aside and headed to the Impala. Sam lets out a sigh and returns to the laptop. _Why all the Winchesters have to be stubborn?_ Sam thought watching his brother drive away.

Dean put on some Led Zeppelin's song, stairway to heaven and sang along.

He was recalling what he felt when he saw himself looking at him disappointed, how weird it was to see your own disappointed expression, judging you.

His heart, tight as it was, like if it was broken. Few times he felt his heart broken like that. When his mom died, when Sammy got hurt, when he fell in love for the first time, when he couldn't help someone.

Few times indeed, considering his age at least.

He was brought back to reality, when he looked his mirror and saw someone sitting on the back seat of his car. It was him again. Through the mirror he could see his big smile, a superior smile, and superior look. Dean wanted to look back and see if the thing was really there, yet he was frozen by the image on his mirror.

" We have scores to settle… Dean" The thing said calmly and coldly before disappearing.

Dean stopped the car harshly and got the guts to look back. It was not there anymore… or had it even been there?

Dean rubbed his eyes and looked again.

" Shit" Was all he could say. What was happening to him?

**So? How was chapter one? Did you like? Please, please, let me know :-)**

**Have a nice day everyone!**


	2. Facing inner demons

**Notes: I don't own supernatural or the characters.**

**Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews! I got so inspired to write this chapter and I hope you enjoy:-) **

Sam was getting worried. Dean was taking forever to come back. He knew he shouldn't have left Dean go out like that, so soon after they got back from the hospital. Specially when he had no idea if the thing Dean saw was just an hallucination or something real.

When it comes to Dean, it could have been anything. He hardly showed his real feelings, Sam knew that attitude could bring consequences.

He heard the noise of the Impala driving fast and being harshly parked. Sam ran outside to check what was going on.

He saw Dean opening the door. At least he was ok.

" Where the hell have you been? You said it would be back soon. I was damn worried Dean". Sam yelled at Dean.

Dean, on the other hand, just raised his eyebrows and gave Sam a 'sorry-dad' look, making fun.

" You'll have a heart attack like that Sammy, relax". He made his way into the motel room. Sam followed.

" Where were you? He demanded.

" I went for a drive like I said…and…I saw the thing again." Dean reached for his bag and grabbed his father's journal to give it a second try.

" You sure? What happened?" Sam still didn't know whether this was real or not.

" It showed up out of nowhere just like this morning… and… it said something."

" What did it say?" Now Sam was the one narrowing his eyes.

" We have scores to settle" Dean tried to sound calm about it.

" A score to settle? Unfinished business, perhaps?"

Sam wondered. After all, he didn't know everything that had happened while he was in college. Maybe Dean faced something he couldn't handle alone…something he had to leave as it was.

" Not that I remember, no". He went though the pages taking his time.

" I couldn't find much else regarding the medical records ya know?". Sam said, trying to tell his brother it could be nothing. Dean was way to calm for someone who was being chased.

" I was not expecting much from it anyway. The way he said it… I am not sure we'll be able to find any similar cases."

Sam took a moment to think. His brother was sure he'd seen something. Sam had to dig this a little deeper, otherwise, he wouldn't be able to help Dean.

" I'll tell you this. I am gonna go back to the hospital and ask around… see what I can find out… maybe there are similar cases to yours".

Sam actually had to find out if that was something resulted from Dean's previous condition.

" Let's go then" Dean closed his father journal and was reaching for the jacket.

" I don't think so, if you go there and your doctor sees you… you take the risk of staying a couple of days more there… you haven't been really following the doctor's orders". Sam tried his best.

He knew wouldn't take that chance. Neither of them were fans of hospitals.

Dean narrowed his eyes, looking suspicious at Sam, but the boy had a point.

" What am I supposed do then? Have a lollypop and watch cartoons while you go?". Dean crossed his arms in front of his chest.

" If that's what you want. Rest for a while ok? You are not full recovered. I'll be right back". Sam got the keys and left before Dean could let out another sarcastic comment.

Dean tried to get himself distracted. As he already knew, day tv sucked, he had ran out of m&ms and the motel was freaking boring.

"Rest" he said mocking Sam's words. " I am not that bad for Sam to bay sit me" _Am I?_ He thought to himself and went to the bathroom.

Sure, he wasn't in perfect conditions. Gosh, for someone who came back from the dead he was pretty good. Maybe a little pale.

" Still handsome" He said checking himself in the mirror.

He got the water running in the sink and washed his face. When he looked at mirror again, he noticed he was no longer alone. He met his own eyes staring at him. The thing was back.

Before he could have done anything, he felt a hand pushing and hitting his head hard against the mirror. Hard enough for the mirror to break and send him to unconsciousness

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Sam arrived at the hospital and asked for Dean's doctor. The secretary was very nice and she seemed to be in a good mood. She offered him coffee, tea and some cookies.

Of course, she was young, about Sam's age, and not everybody had the privilege of getting the cookies.

The doctor soon came and shook Sam's hand.

" Hi Sam, what can I do for you?" The doctor asked nicely while he walked with Sam to his office.

" I'd like to ask you some questions about my brother, if that's alright".

The doctor opened the door of his office. It was somehow different from other offices. This one had some interesting frames on the wall, family pictures, and it was not all white. The doctor made a gesture asking Sam to sit down.

" Sure, is he getting better?" The doctor asked and reached for Dean's file.

" Yes, he's been improving well. I just would like to know if, he received any treatment that could have further …unexpected results". Sam couldn't exactly find the words.

The doctor looked at him intrigued.

" Not that I am aware of. Why do you ask?"

Sam swallowed hard. How was he supposed to explain what was happening. The doctor would think Dean had lost his mind.

0000000000000000000000000000000

Dean slowly opened his eyes. He could feel a terrible pain in his head and his dried blood all over his face.

_I knew it_ he had an ironic thought. H was sitting on the floor, against a wall by the bed. His hands were tied behind his back. And his ankles were tied together as well. _They never make things easy._

" Took you long enough to wake up" His own voice told him. Dean looked to the man standing in front of him. Couldn't be a hallucination.

" Sorry to keep you waiting" He said trying to keep his grin on. " What are you?"

" You disappoint me Dean. We are the same, or can't you recognize yourself?" the other one kneeled beside Dean fixing his look.

" You got the wrong guy for this game, I hate riddles." Sarcasm was his best weapon at the moment. Dean turned his head to the other side, taking a look at the bathroom. The mirror was destroyed. No wonder he blacked out.

" A question though. I know how handsome I am, but do you suckers have to look like me?" Dean smiled. He was determined not show any apprehension or fear.

" What did you expect? Who looks more with you, than yourself? Two sides of the same coin." He came very close to Dean's face and just stared at him for a moment.

Then he steeped back a few inches. Dean had a puzzled look in his face. He usually didn't take long to figure things out, but this thing, was giving him a hard time. He was not understanding anything.

" You know Dean, we all have two sides… sometimes more. You are not exactly the person you make people believe you are. Deep down, you are troubled…tormented. Sam is the only one who keeps you from falling apart".

Now the conversation was getting intense. Dean started to worry.

" I am messed up, I know. But you… seem to have some serious issues dude. A psychiatrist can always help". Dean's grin didn't last long this time, when the thing just smiled back at him after his comment.

The things stared at Dean for a second still smiling. Suddenly it changed, taking Layla's appearance. ( You remember Layla from Faith's episode?)

Dean's eyes went wide open. It kneeled near dean once again.

" Do you remember me…Dean?" she said with tears in her eyes.

" I am not gonna play this game" Dean said serious. He couldn't keep his smug expression anymore.

" What's the matter Dean? Can't you face your own demons?" She said angry and took a few steps closer to him, facing him in the eye.

"Why Dean? Why did you have to be so selfish? I had a chance there, just like you".

" Stop that. Leave her out of this". Dean turned his face not to face Layla's tears.

He tried Layla's smile in his mind. She was dying when they met, and yet, she had the most cheerful smile.

" I could have lived you know! You condemned me to death!" She was sobbing in tears.

Dean frenetically wanted to break his bonds. His breathing was hard. _That's not her_ He kept thinking to himself, focusing on his real memories. She didn't blame him…did she?

" You shouldn't have gone there. I could have gotten my chance if you hadn't shown up".

" That's enough! Stop!" He recalled quite well that day. He had been saved indeed. The cost for it though, was more than Dean expected. Another life had been taken.

If he could turn back time, knowing what would happen, he probably wouldn't allow Sam to take him there. He also recalled how he felt the last time he talked to Layla. She didn't seem so worried. Dean felt guilty, he admired her faith.

" Feeling guilty Dean?" Her voice was calm again. " You deserve more than your guilt, you bastard".

" Layla had faith, you sucker". Dean said still trying to get free. He cold feel some tears in his eyes. Tears he was struggling not to drop.

" I had faith Dean. For both of us… I never thought you'd be the one to ruin my chance".

Dean lowered his head and some drops of tears were coming down. Was that truth? Could he have done things different? He couldn't have saved Layla. It was wrong. His own life being saved was wrong. People were dying.

When he raised his head, he was alone. The thing was gone.

His bonds were too tied and he was having a hard time to break them. Actually, he didn't have the strength to do it. His eyes were blurred, the tears were dropping continually, his efforts to send them back were in vain.

The thoughts of everything he heard were broken by the sound of the Impala parking. Sam was back.

Dean tried to dry to some of the tears and put back his smug expression on. _Get a grip Dean. That was just teasing. Don1t let it break you._ He thought to himself.

Sam opened the door and saw Dean's face all covered in blood. " Dean". He said and kneeled close to him. He put his hands gently on dean's face, checking his wounds.

" What happened?" Sam asked nervous.

" Untie me first, will ya?" Dean said in disbelief. Sam gave him a look and reached for Dean's hands.

" Dean?...Your hands are not tied". Sam said confused.

Dean pulled his hands. He was free indeed. His ankles were free too. That made Sam wonder, what really had happened there.

" I swear Sam, I was tied up. The thing was here for God's sake. It pulled a hell of a show! Look at the bathroom's mirror!". Dean pointed to it.

Sam glanced at it. It was broken. That didn't mean anything.

" Don't give me that look Sammy. I didn't do this alright?" Dean looked at his hands. Then he stretched his wrists showing them to Sam.

" If I wasn't tied up, what are these marks around my wrist then?" Dean wanted to state the obvious. Those were burning marks, from the rope. Sam let out a sigh. He didn't know what to think anymore.

**So? Did you enjoy? Don't be shy… leave me a review! Have a nice week everyone!**


	3. Believing is a good start

**Note: Thanks soooo much for the reviews! I loved to read them and I appreciate everyone's opinion! Keep reviewing:-)**

**Saying again. I don't own anything about supernatural. **

Chapter 3

Dean was sitting on his bed. Nothing was making sense. Sam didn't seem to believe him. He kept quiet, lost in his thought, while Sam checked the mirror, then he came with a first aid kit to bandage Dean up. He kneeled in front of Dean and started cleaning the blood. Dean pushed Sam's hands away.

" I have to clean this up Dean."

" You don't believe me, you think I did this? Do you think I broke that mirror?" Dean asked taking the kit from Sam's hand and cleaning himself up.

" I don't know Dean. Why haven't I seen this thing? And how did the ropes disappear?" Sam took back the kit noticing Dean's difficulties.

" Beats me wonder boy!"

Dean moaned when Sam removed some pieces of the mirror that were stuck in Dean's wounds. " Ow, ow… careful there".

" I don't work miracles Dean." Sam tried to remove the pieces gently. " Tell me exactly what happened".

" The thing was playing with me. It turned into Layla". Dean said swallowing hard.

" Layla? That's weird" Sam said cleaning the wound.

" It wanted to make me feel guilty Sam, and it did a wonderful job".

Sam examined Dean's expression deeply. Guilty was well printed in his eyes. To break Dean was hard, and yet, the thing was bale to reach him. Sam questioned himself. The hallucination theory was not fitting so greatly anymore, not once his brother got hurt.

" What did you find out in the hospital?" Dean asked, lying down on his bed after Sam finished fixing him up.

" Umm, there are 3 people suffering from some serious mind illusions. They claim to be paying for their sins from the past; all of them said the same thing when I talked to them".

Dean looked at him angrily. " That's what you checked? You are convinced this is all in my head, aren't you?" Dean made a pause and had his eyes wide opened staring at Sam. His angry face became furious. " You talked to my doctor!" Dean accused jumping from the bed.

" Dean, I just wanted to be sure you were not under any post traumatic stress. I can't help if I don't know what's going on!"

" You…little… how about believing me Sam! That' a nice start!"

Sam had seen Dean angry before, and they had doubted theories before as well. Sam felt a little ashamed. Dean had been supportive when he started having the visions. That situation was different though. Sam wanted to believe Dean, most of all, he wanted to find a way to stop whatever was happening.

" Calm down ok? You have been through a lot! I thought that maybe… this was not supernatural".

"Bullshit Sam! I am not dying this time, I am fine."

" You almost died! That's what I was considering". Sam tried to explain.

" So? What did Dr. Marvelous say? Am I losing my mind here?" Dean had his arms crossed in front of his chest narrowing his eyes, waiting for the answer.

Sam looked at his shoes, not wanting to face his brother.

" No, he said you should be fine". Sam admitted.

" Now that you have the doctor's opinion, which seems more important than mine, can we please, focus?" Dean's voice was normal again. He wanted to sound mad and disappointed; however, if he was in Sam's shoes, he could have done the same thing.

" Ok. What do you suggest?" Sam had a smart ass expression. They had nothing.

" Maybe… we should take a better look at the story of those 3 people you talked to. If they think they are paying for their sins… feeling guilty too, could be related to what I've been seeing." Dean admitted calmly. Sam showed a broad smile and a smug look.

" Don't you dare bragging about it". Dean said reaching for the keys of the car.

Hospital:

Sam came in first. The secretary was there, smiling as usual.

" Hi Sam, I am surprised and glad to see you. I take you want to talk to your brother's doctor again."

" No…actually Julie, I wanted to talk to you, if that's ok". Sam gave her his best smile.

" Yeah, sure". This moment Sam made a gesture with his hands and Dean sneaked in and started looking for the patient's room.

" Can I offer you anything?" she reached for the cookies, the tea, the coffee and a marvelous chocolate cake. " I prepared this cake before coming here" She said blushing.

Sam got a piece from the cake. " It's very delicious, you cook well".

" So, what do you want to know?"

" Right, right…I am sure you know everything that happens around here…therefore…" Sam started complimenting her, always getting her distracted and smoothly getting information.

Dean was carefully checking the rooms trying to find the numbers Sam indicated from his last visit.

One of the rooms, he managed to find. It was in the end of a long corridor. _I hate long corridors… and I hate hospitals._ He thought recalling the asylum he'd been. " Man!". He whispered. Hospitals could be quite creepy too.

He slowly opened the door. Inside there was a woman, she was sitting on her bed whispering something to herself. Dean walked in, she didn't notice his presence.

" Miss?... Miss…" Dean said calmly coming close to her. The room was awfully white. The blinds, the wall, the bed, the bright light.

She looked at him. Her eyes were full of tears, it seemed like as if she was crying for a good while.

" It's ok. I just want to talk".

" I am a bad person" she said sobbing. Dean sat on her bed next to her.

" I don't believe you are. Something wrong is happening to you"

" I see her, she talks to me… all the time… she blames me for the accident". She leaned her head against Dean's chest.

" When did this happen? When did it start?" His voice was soft and comprehensive.

" Right after the accident. I was the only survivor… I thought everything was gonna be ok. The nun said my sister was in a better place. She was praying for me when I woke up".

" When you woke up uh? Did your heart stop?" Dean asked trying to sound as normal as he could.

She nodded her head. " The accident was pretty bad…I almost died too…maybe I should have". Dean wiped some of her tears. " Shhh, you'll be fine. I promise". Dean calmed her down. He stayed there a few more minutes.

He opened the door and he was walking back. Something had to make sense. The girl…that poor girl… was she passing through the same thing as he was? It seemed pretty similar to him.

His attention was caught and he lost the train of thought, by someone talking to him.

" Your soul seems to be tormented, young man". He turned around to see a small woman sitting on chair, in front of one room. It was a nun.

" Whose isn't nowadays? He answered

" Sit here for a minute." She offered making a gesture.

" I am in a hurry".

" You people are always in a hurry. Sit down, just for a second".

Dean let out a sigh and did the woman's wish. She touched Dean's forehead.

" Such troubled thoughts…poor soul". Dean lowered his head.

" Do you pray for everyone here?" he asked remembering what the girl had said.

" I am just doing my part, some people have no one to pray for them".

" Well, some have more faith than others".

" Your faith won't do you much good…Dean"

He heard his own voice saying. Quickly he raised his head looking for the thing that was hunting him. For one second, he was sure his hunter was sitting beside him, where the nun was supposed to be. He got up abruptly and scared… when he looked at the chair again; all he saw was the nun. No one else.

She had a puzzled look.

" What's wrong…young man?" The nun asked with a sympathy smile.

" Nothing…I need to go". He shook his head, tuned his back to her and went to find Sam.

Reception desk.

Sam was still making conversation with the Julie, by now he had eaten about 2 pieces of cake, 4 cookies and drunk a lot of coffee. Julie was enraptured.

He was interrupted by his phone ringing.

" Excuse me". Sam reached for his phone.

" What?" Sam answered the phone.

" What a lack of manners to answer the phone like that". Dean said observing Sam from the door outside. " Are you to busy with the secretary?"

" Jerk. I didn't see you coming out".

" Sneaked in… sneaked out, simple as that. I am waiting in the car… So, if you don't mind taking a rain check with Julie, get you ass here". He hangs up.

Sam says goodbye to Julie and goes back to the Impala.

" Having a nice chat there I see. She's kinda hot." Dean started the car. Then he stared at Sam for a moment. " Is that chocolate in your mouth?"

Sam passed his hands through his lips cleaning himself.

" Yeah, chocolate cake".

" Your chat was better than I thought".

"Focus on the issue Dean. What did you find out?"

" The girl was in a bad shape, her situation seems pretty similar to mine, I guess".

" Could you get a clue on how it started?"

" Not really, but…her heart had stopped as well, after an accident. And…I saw the thing again, looking like me. It's hunting me Sam".

" Shit. Did it do anything to you?" Sam got worried.

" No, it was for just a second".

"Shit Dean. I can't figure what the hell triggered this" Sam told Dean all he got from Susan, which was not that much, the address from those three people and something about the relatives. Not enough though.

" The address of the girl is close to our motel. I am gonna go to her house and talk to the family, see what I find out about her. You go back to the motel and search about anything that can do… what this thing is doing". Dean said getting the paper with the address from Sam's hands.

" You sure?"

Dean pulled over the car and passed the wheel to his brother. " Yeah, I am sure." He got out of the car. " It's not far from here. You can go".

Sam nodded his head and drove away.

Motel:

Sam opened the door of his room to find it weirdly dark. All the lights were turned off, and a creepy silence remained. He reached for the switch, it didn't work.

_Shit_. He thought. Something was very wrong.

A bright light, coming from a flashlight in the middle of the room, was directed straight into Sam's eyes, he put his hands up, covering them.

" Well, well. You were not exactly who I was expecting but…giving a second thought, there is no one better than you to get to Dean…isn't that right?"

It was Dean's voice, different from what he was used to listening. This one had no mercy in it. For the first time Sam met what he had been naming hallucination. The thing was taking Dean's appearance indeed. Definitely, he wasn't a shape shifter. It didn't feel like one, Sam had learned how to trust his feelings in cases like that.

" Dean was right all along".

" Yes, he was. But you know… your disbelief amused me…quite a bit. Your brother actually questioned himself…can you believe it?" It let out a slight laugh.

" What are you?"

" I already explained that! Dean and I…are the same".

In quick move, it was face to face with Sam, the thing was faster than Sam's eyes were able to follow.

" You will be very helpful to me Sammy". Saying this, the evil being hit Sam's head with the flashlight, not giving him a chance to even defend himself. The last thing Sam saw was the object coming to him…then all went black.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted more things to happen in chapter three, but it would get too long so, I will write more of the angst next chapter. Please review! Tell me what you think:-) Great weekend everyone!**


	4. Not an hallucination after all

**Note: Unfortunately I don't own supernatural and I don't own the characters lol!**

**I would like first of all to thank everyone who left a review! They are sooo important to me! Thanks a lot! ;)**

**And I apologize for taking long to update, I was quite busy with work. But here it is, I hope you enjoy! **

Chapter 4:

Dean had talked to the family of the girl in the hospital and was walking back to the motel.

Unfortunately, the informations were not very useful. The girl, as anyone else had her share of mistakes, of course, but who doesn't? Everyone makes mistakes in life. Besides, she was a regular person and the biggest tragedy of her life had been this accident as she was the one driving.

The mother explained how close she was to her sister. They had some disagreements now and then, but mostly, they got along well. There was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing weird in the family's background.

The way the mother described her daughters and the relation they had as sisters, were quite similar to the relation Dean had with his brother. He felt a connection to the older sister, who had survived the accident. He could figure how she must be feeling this very moment. Probably worse than Dean felt when Sam got kidnapped by the Benders. As far as he could tell, her only reason to feel guilty was indeed the accident.

He walked along the street slowly, giving himself time to think about the events so far. What was the thing hunting him? _Easy target_ he thought. If the thing used guilt as a mean to attack, then he was an easy target. Since he was child, with everything that happened, the people he couldn't save. Not exactly that he was responsible for everything, the problem is, we always feel guilty when we can't get something done, even if we do our best… even if it was not really up to us getting it done. That's how our mind works…mostly.

He was racking his brains to think about where this thing had come from. Who had the cruel idea of using people's worst decisions in life to torture their souls and bring their dark side up? Could be someone who wasn't able to live with his/her or it's own dark side?

He was brought back to reality when he reached the motel. The Impala was parked in front of it. Dean thought about vexing Sam using the special treatment he received from the secretary in the hospital…he smiled at that thought.

When he opened the door and saw nothing but darkness, the funny thought was replaced by concern.

" Sammy?" He called for his brother and a bright light from a flashlight blinded his eyes; he raised his hand up trying to see what was happening.

" Welcome…we've been waiting for you Dean". The evil in his own voice sent a chill down Dean's spine.

" Where's Sammy?"

Another light was turned on revealing Sam, a thin light above Sam's head showing only his spot. He was sitting on a chair, hands tied behind his back, gagged. There was blood on his face where he had been hit with the flashlight. Sam looked at Dean apologetic. He was sorry for not believing him… for being such an easy prey. Sam was Dean's weakness, anyone who wanted to get to Dean… knew which was the easiest way.

_There is my hallucination Sam, seems pretty real now doesn't it? Shit!_ The ironic thought occurred to Dean when he saw his brother.

The rest of the room remained dark, but Dean could see his own shape standing behind Sam with a gun in his hands. Dean took one step forward, in a protective kind of way, but stopped when the gun was pointed to him.

" No, no Dean. Let's not try to be the hero." Dean put his hands up giving in.

Finally, all the lights were on and an empty chair with a pair of handcuffs lying on it was there expecting him. Dean glanced at it; then back to his brother and the thing.

" You do like to put up a good show, don't you?" Dean was not amused. He felt like a puppet on a theater stage, unfortunately, he was not directing the play.

" You are the main character, after all, this is your life"

He made a gesture using his gun, indicating the chair. "Sit on the chair Dean, and put those on". Dean saw the gun being aimed at Sam's head. He obeyed.

" Hands behind your back, no tricks. Your brother's life is at stake". Dean glared at him reaching for the cuffs and doing as he was told.

" Any other requests…juggling, poem reciting perhaps?" Dean wanted to keep his cool, as he knew what was coming, and he didn't feel like breaking into sobs in front of Sam.

" I know what you are doing…good strategy actually. I wonder though…why do you have to do this joking thing…in front of Sam? He knows you better than that, doesn't he?"

Sam and Dean were exchanging looks. The thing slowly came close to Dean and checked for the cuffs. They were secure.

" Good boy Dean".

" Cut the crap. What do you want?" Dean's voice came out firm and angry.

" Me? I'm just looking for a nice chat…don't you love to recall your past? Bring back old memories?"

Then it walked to Sam.

" Look at him… it seems to me that he feels like talking" Sam's gag was removed. " Isn't that right _Sammy_?"

" Screw you". Sam managed to say as soon as his gag was gone.

" Dirty little mouth Sam. I am sure you used to be sweeter".

" Leave him out of this, your issues are with me". Dean wanted to get his attention. That's how things worked for both of them, always trying to protect each other. Dean took the job even more seriously...it was automatic for him to do so.

" Relax Dean, you'll have your turn". He gazed at Sam.

" You are lucky Sammy, your bro over there, believes he's responsible for you…he can't accept you're a big boy now, and you can take care of yourself".

Then he looked at Dean. "Weren't you taking care of him for the past two days, Sammy...that must have bothered him like hell".

" You are not gonna break me…I know your game". Sam said coldly. He wanted to assure Dean he was not up to play that role and that that thing, whatever it was, had a point. Sam was a big boy, and he could handle himself…most of times.

" You are not the one who I am interested in…_Sammy_, you just happen to be at the wrong place, however, your timing is perfect".

He walked back to Dean, who was biting his lips, staring at him continually.

" What do you wanna do Dean? You want to go to Sam? Get him out of here?" He walked behind Dean and grabbed his hair, forcing him to gaze at Sam. "I bet he wants to do the same thing".

" You got that almost right…( he made a small pause)…you missed the part where I send your sorry ass back to where it belongs though".

" Self-confidence suits you, really. Pity it won't last long". He whispered to dean's ears.

That moment Dean felt his heart tight and he was breathing hard again. His face turned red and he began coughing. His hands were frenetically trying to get free, as he felt the urge to do something to make the pain stop and recover his breath. His efforts were in vain.

" Stop this!" Sam screamed watching Dean in despair due to the lack of air. He was also helpless at the moment.

The thing was smiling in satisfaction. He was getting at their weak spot.

" Scared Sam? I know what fear is like…specially when none is coming to comfort you…the darkness…the noises…the cold…it makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

"Bullshit…you are full… of crap, you know?" Dean could say getting his breath back slowly.

He approached Sam. Dean followed him with his eyes, concern sculptured on his face.

With a quick move, the thing grabbed Sam's neck.

" Is this bullshit? Aren't you apprehensive right now…scared even?" He asked with a strong grip, holding Sam.

" No… I am freaking pissed! So help me God if you don't let go of him, your son of a bitch!"

Before letting go of Sam's throat, he glanced at Dean displaying an evil grin. Dean looked at his brother to check if he was ok. He was gasping for air, and marks could be seen around his neck.

" Sam?"

" I am fine" He answered still breathing hard.

" He will survive Dean, don't worry".

He made a pause to analyze Dean's features and continued.

" You felt like this many times when you were kids right Dean? When Sam was in danger… the times you froze in fear and became useless?"

" Don't listen to him Dean" Sam shouted; getting the picture. The thing walked back to Sam and placed the gag back with some trouble.

" Shhhh….quiet Sam, I am about to provide a beautiful moment to your brother, allow him to enjoy this".

Sam protested against the gag, not successfully.

Nevertheless, Dean was already feeling useless, seeing Sam's lack of choice.

" Where did we stop?" It said ironically.

" In the middle of your sticky show, and the audience is not pleased…you asshole". Dean scoffed.

" Right, how you got useless…and daddy always showed up to save the day".

" Yeah, we are a family of heroes, we don't give autographs though".

It approached Dean, close enough until they were face to face. Dean felt like as if he was looking in a mirror, except by the evil in his eyes. For a moment there was silence.

Sam was observing everything apprehensive, fighting against the ropes, breathing hard through the gag.

" I know what's on your mind right now…images of your childhood…the times you froze when trying to save Sam…your father disappointed, shouting at you…you were all of a tremble… no need to keep that just for you…I can make it real if you wish…won't it be just great?"

He stepped back; doing exactly like before, he turned into Sam, in a child form.

Sam couldn't believe his eyes when he saw himself at that age

_Shit_, he thought. Things were about to get ugly.

Dean was repeating to himself inside his head to be strong, to not let it affect him. And still, seeing little Sammy, meant a vortex of memories and feeling that rushed into him. Their childhood hadn't been only about the bad memories, they had good moments together…and Dean's mind was being played to recall only his guilt. He had been right before, he was a puppet and this spectacle was becoming dangerous.

The child was gazing innocently at Dean, with a broad smile.

" Hi Dean". Little Sammy said devilishly.

To be continued….

**So? How was this chapter? I hope you enjoyed! Don't hesitate in leaving a review, please :) Have a nice week!**


	5. Messed up minds

**Note: Hi everyone! Those reviews really made my day! When I opened my e-mail box and saw them…I had the happiest face in the world. Thanks a lot! **

**And also I don't own anything about the show. But you already know that LOL :)**

_**By the way…there is a little bit of spoilers for ' Something wicked'…just a little ;) **_

Chapter 5

When Sam saw himself at that age, he knew what was coming, after all, just 2 weeks ago, Dean had confessed to him how guilty he felt, when he was not able to shoot the shtriga and save him…when they were kids. Nobody had to remind Dean of that, he has felt guilty enough along the years. And heck, Dean was a just a child too. A child with a huge responsibility to carry, he was in charge of taking care of Sam. More than that, as their life has never been very safe; he was in charge of Sam's life. How burdensome that was, only Dean knew. Therefore, he took his job seriously since his childhood.

The smile on his brother's childish face made him smile as well, at first. The grown up Sam on the other hand, wanted to scream urgently. Dean's smile was about to fade, and his mind was so worn out, that he wouldn't even preview what was actually happening. Dean couldn't pay attention at his brother's panic face, he was too focus on little Sam.

" Sammy" Dean whispered, staring at the child in disbelief. Little Sammy's eyes seemed to hypnotize Dean…he couldn't take his of his brother…it had been so long.

" Will you always take care of me Dean?" Little Sam still had a sweet, childish voice.

Dean nodded his head. " Yes Sammy, always".

_Snap out of it Dean! You are stronger than this…"_ Sam wished. His brother could pretty much make fun of everything, even when he was deeply screwed, he managed to make Sam laugh of the situation and piss off who ever was the bastard that they were up against.

There was one thing he couldn't run away from though; his childhood.

Sam was desperately rubbing his face on his shoulder trying to remove the gag from his mouth.

" Why then, did you leave me alone that day?" The question came out innocently, and in an accusable way.

Dean's had that specific day well memorized in his head. The image of the shtriga close to Sam. He remembered pointing the gun at it and not being able to shoot, he was too scared. Luckily for them, John showed up just in time…after that, all Dean recalled was the yelling, his father was beyond angry.

" I didn't know…" Dean was cut off.

" Was I such burden to you?" The child asked again.

Sam didn't know if that was being a torture for Dean or for him, considering he'd hardly ask Dean such question when they were kids. Dean was for him more of parent than his own father ever was. He'd been a protective dedicated brother.

_Don't fall for that Dean... come on!_

" No. And I never wanted that to happen". His voice was barely coming out and sadness was obvious there sounding out loud in his words.

" Then you should have stayed…just like daddy asked". Sam said slowly caressing Dean's face. Dean closed his eyes feeling the warmth from his little brother's hands.

" I was just…I just wanted to…" Dean stuttered, and was cut off again.

" To what? Have fun? Is that more important than me?" Sammy took a few steps back and gazed angry at Dean.

Grown Sam heard all the hate coming out of his own little mouth. That was unbelievable.

Sam was making some noises through the gag, wanting to get Dean's attention. He wanted Dean to remember how big Sam was like…what he was like when they kids. He was nothing like that little thing that took his child form

Dean seemed to be somewhere else, far from that room and far from reality.

" No, no, no, no"! Dean began losing his control. " Nothing was more important!" He said raising his voice, straining forward and bucking.

" You were supposed to be there for me…to protect me".

Little Sam kneeled in front of Dean.

" It was my fault" Dean whispered again, looking down.

" That's right, it was your fault. How could you?" Little Sam was gazing at Dean disappointed, his words coming out full of wrath.

Dean felt his heart tighten, this time was worse, he could feel every single beat of it, it was painful. It was like if something was about to explode inside his chest.

More drops of tears formed in his eyes

Dean was gritting his teeth and moaning over the pain. Little Sam had an evil smiled on his face.

After much struggling, Sam was able to slightly remove the gag, which was good enough. His face was red due to the rubbing. He couldn't watch that anymore…his memories were going down the drain…and seeing Dean's despair pissed him off.

" Dean!" He screamed. " Listen to me…you have to listen to me…"

Dean could hear his brother's voice very distant, as if he was not able to focus. The pain inside his chest was slowly decreasing, he was not able to make much sense out of what was going on, however the distant voice of his brother calling for him helped to sooth his agony…Dean's face was sweaty and ruddy…he could put some of the pain aside. Still the words ' my fault' got stuck in his mind…haunting him.

" It was my fault…" He kept whispering to himself, ignoring Sam's plea.

" You disappointed me and dad Dean, when he trusted you with a job, when I trusted you with my life". Little Sammy carried on with the teasing.

" Dad trusted me…I failed" he mumbled still looking down. " I am so sorry…I wanted to make it up for it… I'm sorry". He kept mumbling the words with difficulty.

" That's enough! Stop!" Grown Sam shouted at the child.

" What's the matter Sammy? Aren't you enjoying the show?"

Sam looked at his brother again. How could he break Dean like that? The thing sure found the way to mess up with his head. Or maybe, Dean couldn't handle all kinds of torture. Physical, sure he could manage…and get an upper hand even. Mind torture was something else. Considering all the pain in his chest…the tight cuffs and the entire previous situation he'd been just 2 days ago Physical and psychological torture was way too much for the same person.

" Dean please…listen to me…you have to ignore all of this…come on!" Sam's plea was more of a desperate demand.

" He can't hear you Sammy…just give up".

Sam took his own advice and ignored his child copy. " Dean! I need you to listen…I need you right now!"

" But you can't do anything now…can you Dean? You can't save Sam…just like you couldn't before". The little thing started a competition with Sam, he had a victorious expression. Dean was in no condition to separate right from wrong, real from dream or anything else.

" Yes you can… you can pay attention to me…that's all I need you to do…pay attention to me Dean".

" Poor Dean…poor Sammy…one so wicked…the other so desperate…how pathetic. Your brother is mine…he won't listen to you".

Sam should have known better, of course there was more in this story…Dean didn't stand much chance to fight…if something inside his head had taken him over.

Sam observed Dean's eyes…not good…nothing but emptiness. That was a battle, he obviously could not win…not doing what he was doing anyway….he needed sometime alone with Dean.

Sam suddenly had an idea…it was a shot in the dark, but it was the best he had…and the only thing he could think of right now. He lowered his head and began whispering some words in Latin.

The smile on little Sammy's child face faded…he felt a sudden lack of control… he turned to Sam and noticed his whispering. He walked to him and grabbed his chin forcing Sam to look at him.

Sam didn't lose his concentration…he kept whispering the words.

" Shut up Sammy!" He tried to place the gag back on…Sam was ready to protest, which was not necessary….The things was losing control.

" That won't stop me…I guarantee".

This moment Sam raised his voice in anger. " Agnus dei, quitollis peccata mundi, Agnus dei, dona nobis pacem!"

Speaking louder and louder, he kept going.

" Agnus dei, quitollis peccata mundi, Agnus dei, dona nobis pacem!"

The thing let out a diabolic laugh and gazed at Sam meanly.

" I'll be back Sammy! Next time your brother won't be so lucky…I promise!"

" I know…we'll be ready". Sam said coldly narrowing his eyes.

Saying so, the evil child form of Sam disappeared.

Sam let out a sigh; relieved… he had gained some time, he wasn't sure how much…but it was the time he had to help his brother…this time, it was Dean's life that was up to him.

_That was cruel_ Sam thought, fighting his bonds…he felt sorry for Dean…to see his older brother so defeated. That was not like him at all. Now that they were alone, Sam stood a better chance as none was in charge of Dean's mind.

" Dean…open your eyes…the things is gone, but we don't have much time".

Nothing. Dean was not moving…he was too tired.

" Dean…please…please…listen to me, I need you ok? I need old sarcastic, annoying Dean back".

Dean raised his head a bit and took his time in opening his eyes.

" There you go…wake up". _From wherever you were…_Sam encouraged.

Dean knew he had to act normally; he had to do so for Sam and for himself. Recalling that day…listening to his little bro say all those things…were like a bomb exploding. Now he had to swallow his guilt and be there for Sam…

_I won't disappoint you this time._ He thought.

"Sarcastic and annoying…are those compliments all for me?" He said joking and gasping…regaining the control on his body.

Sam couldn't help a smile.

" Finally…gee. Just open your eyes already". Sam felt quite victorious indeed. One battle won…and another one was to come.

" Easy…give a guy a minute will ya?" Dean felt like rubbing his eyes, that's when he remembered he couldn't. " Shit…I had forgotten about the damn cuffs. I have nothing to pick on the locks".

" I am trying to break free…hang in there"

" Sure, take your time…I'm not going anywhere…."

" Are you ok man?" Sam was concerned. He knew Dean was faking it.

" I am fine…Just gotta take leak, urgently…work faster on those, would you?"

" I am going as fast as I can…are you sure you are alright…I mean..." Dean cut Sam off.

" Don't start…not now. I am ok."

He looked around to see if they were indeed alone. " Where did the thing go anyway?"

" I said a prayer in Latin…and sent it away". Sam said feeling the ropes starting to give in…his wrist was not only sore but hurt. He was almost done. _Just a little bit more_.

" Great…so, is that it? Is it over?" Dean had some hope in his words. He'd been through a real nightmare. One which he'd been venerable, such thing he hated displaying around any living ( or dead) soul. He'd shown weakness…and the so avoided chick flick moments. That for him was far worse than hell.

" No… sorry Dean… unfortunately it's temporary. The thing will be back"

**That's it for this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it! Don't be shy and let me know what you think! Leave a review :) Have a nice week!**


	6. Just go

**Note: Oh My God! I am the happiest girl ever! Thanks a lot for the reviews! I am really really glad!**

**I want to say that I am so sorry, I know I am taking long to update the chapters. My work is getting me very busy lately, but I will update as soon as I can, always :)**

**And, I don't own anything about supernatural.**

Chapter 6

Sam kept working on his bonds. He could feel his wrists going beyond sore, they were hurt and bloody by now. But it paid off, after a few more tries, he finally broke free. Maybe the look in Dean's eyes when he got the bad news, gave Sam the strength to break free. He knew that look…he'd seen it not long time ago…his brother was afraid.

He'd been afraid for those kids back in Fitchburg, which he felt responsible for, he'd been afraid for Sam's life during years…now he was afraid to face his own memories…his failures. Who wouldn't be? He held such burden on his shoulder. Every day, when they went on a hunt, it was a lot more than that. They were dealing with lives; innocent people1s lives…their own lives as well.

" I am free". Sam said with some joy getting the remains of the ropes away from his wrists.

" About damn time…man!" Dean saw Sam opening the bag and reaching for something to open the lock's on his cuffs.

" Like I said, I don't work miracles". Sam kneeled behind Dean and began picking on the lock.

" So umm, what kind of prayer was that? Why is it temporary?"

" It's a simple prayer Dean…you know…'Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world'…etc. I just said it in Latin…that's all. If that thing was a sort of demon, which would be my guess by now, the words scared it away. It was not meant to kill it, just to give us time". Sam got the locks opened.

Dean got up from the chair and let out a sigh.

" Shit, we gotta find something about it Sam, and fast. Things are getting pretty ugly. I don't feel like having another guilt session ok?". Dean had some drops of tears being held back in his eyes.

" Yeah, about that…Dean, we didn't really have the chance to talk before…look, I don't blame you, you shouldn't blame yourself either".

" Now, it's not the time Sam. I told you…You should have…" Dean paused for a moment and recalled his father's eyes when Dean, still a child, had told him he left the motel and put Sam in danger…the damn shtriga. " You should have seen the way he looked at me. This thing we've been facing…it had a point… I disappointed dad … and you".

" You never disappointed me…dad should have known better Dean…damn it!"

" Let's focus here, shall we? I don't wanna talk about it! Wasn't that creepy show enough already for today? Gee Sam!"

It was Sam's time to let out a sigh. Dean was right. His mind was probably tired; he had relived the moment more than necessary that month.

" Maybe something happened at the hospital. Haven't you noticed anything unusual while I was sleeping?" Dean asked cleaning his face in the bathroom, pulling himself together.

" No…well… there was a nun praying for you when I came in to see you, but she barely spoke to me and left us alone".

Dean gazed at Sam in disbelief. " Did that slip your mind little brother? You should have told me that before. I saw a nun when we were at hospital last time. That's when the thing showed up… just for a second…"

" She is just a nun Dean…hospitals are full of people that pray".

Dean shook his head and sat on the bed. " No Sam, the girl I went to see, is convinced she lost her mind…and you know what she said to me? That a nun was praying for her…that the nun said everything was gonna be fine…now she sees her dead sister blaming her for the accident! Is that normal to you? This girl and myself are being hunted right after receiving the visit form this nun?". Dean raised his voice making Sam flinch.

" You didn't tell me that either…If I knew it, I'd have said something before".

" Shit…I hate this".

Dean hated feeling vulnerable; he hated crying, specially around Sam…above all this, he hated to be in that situation. Sooner or later, Sam would insist on some sentimental conversation about it… and shit, he had no strength for it. Not yet at least.

" Ok, we go back to the hospital one more time to try to find this nun… and Dean…no matter what, we are not splitting. We can't afford for this thing to come after you; or me to **get** to you…again".

" Fine by me. I am driving".

Dean just asked for a minute to change into some new clothes, Sam did the same, then they grabbed the laptop, the journal, many kinds of guns and ammos.

They headed to the Impala and Dean didn't hesitate to turn on the radio and listen to his Metallica tape.

Sam was going to say something about it and tell Dean to focus on the problem instead of focusing on the song. He decided to let it go though, remembering the demon they faced in the airplane…he remembered how apprehensive Dean was…how he kept singing Metallica. "_It calms me down"_ he had said.

If that calmed him down, then so be it…he needed to set his mind at ease…as much as he could.

" Holding your tongue there Sammy?" Dean noticed his brother uncomfortable silence.

" Just thinking…we couldn't figure out what this things is…how it came alive…it's weakness…nothing".

" You did a good job back there, I don't know…what would have happened if that 'conversation' had gone further…so, don't worry. We'll figure it out".

" Yeah, but we don't have an upper hand, that bothers me".

" It bothers me even more".

' Nothing else matters' started playing and Dean started singing along...Sam couldn't help but laugh at his brother's face...excited by the song, singing louder than the radio. If he didn't know Dean well, he could have been a rock star. Just like Sam would have guessed, no matter how deeply in trouble they were, Dean still managed to make Sam laugh and put the problems aside for a while.

" A picture lasts longer." Dean made fun noticing how Sam stared at him.

" You are impossible".

" Hey, music is good for the soul, you have to enjoy more your life…grandpa".

" Yeah, whatever you say man".

'Nothing else matters' was a song that Dean liked, some parts of the song in particular. It seemed it had been written specially for him.

'_Forever trusting who we are' _…_'Trust I seek and I find in you'  
'And nothing else matters'_

'_Life is ours, we live it our way'…'Every day for us something new'_

'_Open mind for a different view'_

'_Never care for what they know' …'But I know'_

All the right words, the trust they had in each other, which was more important than anything. The lifestyle they didn't choose but they were living…living it their own way.

Things they found along their path. New challenges day after day.

What no one else knew about the dark, but they did. The song was meant for him.

Dean was brought back to reality when he suddenly noticed something felt wrong, as if he was losing control on his thoughts once more…the same weird sensation he felt at the motel….something taking him over.

_Dean…_ he heard his own voice whispering deep in his mind…_it's not over_…

Dean turned down the music and put on a concerned expression on his face.

_You belong to me…_

" Dean, what is it?" Sam sensed the heavy environment.

" I don't know" He lied.

_Let Sam go…if you want him safe_

He pulled over the car, shuddering.

" What are you doing, we are almost there".

" Something is wrong Sammy".

" You don't look well…talk to me. Is it the thing?"

_You want this burden Dean? Hurting your own brother?_

" You have to go Sam". Dean said firmly not staring at his brother, knowing well, what the thing was capable of.

" What? I am not going anywhere. What's going on?"

Before Dean could answer, the thing ( looking like Dean again) was sitting on the back seat of the car with the biggest grin ever.

" He is trying to warn you Sammy, you should listen".

" Leave my brother alone you freak!" Sam said reaching his gun at pointing it at the thing.

The thing kept his smile and shook his head. " No no, Sammy. I don't think you wanna do this."

Dean reached for his gun as well and pointed it at his own head.

" Dean, what the hell!" Sam was desperate.

" I can't control it Sam…I am sorry" Dean said dropping some tears.

" Drop your gun Sam, or Dean might do something stupid". Sam dropped the gun and put his hands up.

Slowly he saw Dean's hands moving with some difficulty, the gun was being pointed at Sam…Dean was trying to fight it.

" Let him go damn it! You already have me ok!" Dean said out loud, he was getting sick of this game.

" Your brother is quite desperate Sam…maybe you should do what he says".

" Please Sam…go". Dean pleaded holding the gun between Sam's eyes against his will.

" I can't leave you alone…you have to fight it Dean". Sam lowered his hands and felt his heart tight.

Dean lowered his head, not facing Sam.

" Ohh, knock it off Sammy. He can't fight me…he has no strength for that…spare him of another dramatic talk, can't you see how wasted he is?"

Dean's hand started shaking, but still had a firm grip on the gun. "Fucking go Sam! The son of a bitch is right".

" But Dean…" Sam was cut off.

" I will be fine". Dean said raising his head and giving his brother a different look. Now was more like it. Sam knew that look too.

Dean could handle himself, he had strength enough hidden somewhere…he just needed an opportunity. He had a smug look, the old confident look which Sam could trust. Besides, Dean knew Sam would dig up this story and find a solution…but he had to walk away to do so.

Even though he didn't like how things turned out, Sam gave up, a little relieved by Dean's assurance.

" If you hurt my brother, you'll regret it, I promise". Sam said opening the door and steeping out of the car.

" See ya Sammy!" The things said looking victorious. It had stepped out of the car as well and sat on the driver's seat making Dean go to the passenger's seat, still holding the gun, then drove away speeding.

" Sooner than you think". Sam whispered and started walking. He was close to the hospital…and expected to get some answers there.

On the road:

" Just you and me now… a happy screwed up couple". Dean said finally being able to put the gun down.

" That was wise Dean, I clap my hands for you".

" Save the celebration for later, when I kick your sorry ass".

" Sure thing". The things raised his hand and placed on Dean's forehead. " I have a surprise Dean…, you don't wanna ruin the surprise by seeing the way, do you?".

Not having much choice, Dean felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier….his mind giving in…he felt very tired and sore…his vision began to get blurred and…he fell asleep.

**I hope you liked it and I have a lot more coming…be patient! Please, gimme your opinion…leave a review:) Have a great day everyone!**


	7. round 3

**Note: Bad news are, since Monday, nothing changed and I still own nothing about supernatural. LOL! I don't own the show, I don't own the characters. **

**THANKS! For reading this fanfic and leaving reviews! I appreciate your opinion! Reviews are always welcome and I love them:) **

Chapter 7 – Enjoy!

Sam was walking down the street in a hurry, making his way to the hospital. His mind seemed to be a time machine, present and past images going through his mind in flashbacks faster than a speeding car.

Had he taken the right decision? Could he have done anything else under those circumstances?

Of course he knew Dean stood a chance…his eyes said so at least. But still, he was the older brother and to make Sam less worried… Dean's eyes would transmit all sorts of messages. How could have they gotten so sloppy? To be taken over like that? Simple, they weren't given a choice…everything happened way to fast and the research was never really made. After all, that's what they were about to do right before the car incident.

The image of his brother pointing the gun at him, not being given a chance to protest, made Sam feel sorry for him. His brother must have felt not only powerless, but humiliated, defenseless and freaking scared of pulling the damn trigger against his will. That thought made Sam furious…for not having figured this out sooner, before things turned…well, they way it turned out. Complicated.

Sam recalled the last minutes…the thing pushing Dean to the passenger's seat and taking the steering wheel…Dean still had the gun. That was it…Sam watched the car drive away speeding…where the hell did he take Dean?

To find the nun and get some answers were not even close to be enough…after all the research, if Sam was able to get to a conclusion, he still had to find his brother's location.

Finally, he got to the hospital. Taking a deep breath, he earned the courage to do whatever it took to get what he wanted. To be polite was his usual way of obtaining clues, yet he was prepared to be rude and violent if necessary. No matter how many people would have their heads as target for Sam's gun…who would cry or scream…cops, security…nothing. He was sick and tired of this game too.

Julie ( the receptionist) spotted Sam entering the hospital. As usual she put on her best smile.

" Hi Sam" she had no idea how pissed he was. And poor girl, she had no idea he was not interested in her. Julie saw no reason for Sam to come back to the hospital over and over after his brother left…so, her mind figured, he was there only because of her.

" I need to know about the nun Julie". Sam walked to her not even replying he greeting. He went straight to the point.

She gave him a confused look. " A nun?"

" Yes, the woman who is always here, 'praying' for the patients".

" I don't know Sam…why the hell do you want to see a nun anyway?" Sam didn't answer. He looked around, the place was kinda quiet. There weren't many people waiting.

" I need to take a look around" He said firmly once again.

" I am not allowed to let you do that". He gazed at her…feeling a little guilty for talking to her like that. She had been so gentle to him…giving him cookies and cake, but he hadn't much choice, every minute wasted could put Dean into deeper trouble.

" I am not really asking permission". He said and walked way, into one of the hospital's corridors.

Julie opened her mouth in disbelief. Should she call for security or not? After all, Sam seemed very upset. She decided to give him a few minutes and then, if he took longer, she would ask for help.

Dean began to slowly wake up from his sleep. _Man what a dream…_he thought…he had dreamt with Marilyn Monroe, that's for sure. He wished his situation was as good as his dream had been. _At least one thing was good about this ride_ he thought again with a smile. Even if the good thing had been nothing but a dream.

He noticed he was no longer inside his car. He was in a dark room, probably sitting on a bed, as he felt quite comfortable. He checked his hands…free as a bird. _This is too easy…what's the catch…?_

Then he got up from the bed and decided to try and check the surroundings…the size of the room…if there were any windows or switches.

He was stopped though, two steps away from the bed. " Shit!", he whispered. _Shackles…I knew it…_

His right ankle was attached to the bed, so he wouldn't go much further. Actually, he was not going anywhere. The room was damn dark and he couldn't see a thing.

Apparently a surprise was waiting for him…he didn't think it was good one anyway.

He rubbed his hands against his forehead… a damn headache, just to make it all peachy.

_Sammy…you have to figure this out, before I lose my mind for real._

As if he wasn't feeling guilty enough, now he had the extra recently added. He pointed a gun between his brother's eyes, against his will, but still pointed it. He remembered the apprehension he felt the moment his fingers touched the trigger…just one tiny movement, and Sam would be lying lifeless on the floor. He noticed Sam's fear, however, his fear was to leave Dean alone with the freaking thing and not the gun pointed at him. He trusted Dean, way too much.

" Get a grip Dean, you know what's coming". He whispered to himself and sat on the bed again.

Dean heard a noise…it was the door knob…his captor was coming. " Round three" he whispered again. What the thing had prepared for him this time…he didn't really wanna know.

He stood up and observed the door, the silhouette of man could be well seen, better yet, his own silhouette.

The lights were suddenly turned on hurting Dean's eyes. He covered them with his hands waiting until he got used to the new light.

He took a good look around, finally being able to see where he was being kept. It seemed to be a simple room. The bed where he was chained and a chair next to the bed. That was all. The walls were white, a dirty white…very old, the floor was dirty as well, the windows were nailed shut and the ceiling, made of wood, showed how abandoned that place had been, probably for years. _Old abandoned house…how original…_ he thought not moving an inch from his spot. Not like he could move much anyway.

The thing approached him with a smug smile, wearing his favorite leather jacket.

" To mess up with my mind is one thing, but that's my favorite jacket". Dean said staring at himself…looking so self - confident.

" No wonder, the jacket suits you…suits me as well".

" Don't feel to comfy wearing it, I will get it back soon enough".

The thing just kept his smile and nodded his head. " So, did you like my surprise? A quiet house, no people around, no cars passing through the road so often…no phones, **no Sam**…just you, me, and your sins".

" Sure I liked the surprise…getting kidnapped and being brought to the middle of nowhere is everyone's dream". Dean also had a smug confident smile to show off. He was up to play the game using the same cards.

_No Sam_, that part made him flinch a little inside.

" You amuse me Dean, let's see how long your jokes are gonna last this time". The thing said and pulled the chair close to the bed, not close enough so Dean could try anything and sat down.

Letting out a sigh Dean sat on the bed, keeping up his cool.

" Let's stop beating around the bush. If you wanna kill me…just do it already". Dean said calmly…not showing too exposing his emotions too much.

The only response he got was an amused laugh. " You wanna skip the fun Dean... I don't want to kill you …I am sure you can handle a lot…but I noticed you have trouble handling your personal issues…your fears…your sins. That's worse than dying".

" I am not much into drama" He said rising his eyebrows…ignoring the comment.

" I had a great idea while driving your precious car…I decided not to talk about the past so much…let's talk about the present. How about that?"

"Man…I wish I wasn't chained right now… so I could do some serious ass kicking". He narrowed his eyes, still holding himself together.

" It just came to my mind…in St Louis, when the shape shifter was sort of 'stealing' your thoughts…he said something about everyone leaving your ass…am I right?"

Dean remained silent. He didn't actually remember that, he was not exactly conscious when that happened…the conversation Sam had had. He swallowed hard at the comment. That had been quite recent indeed.

For the first time Dean was glad he was the one who got shot that day, when they were at the asylum. If he had shot Sam instead, even using only rock salt, for sure, the thing would use it against Dean.

" Your silence says it all" The thing got up from the chair, Dean's eyes following him. He began pacing slowly around Dean. "You are afraid of being abandoned…alone for the rest of your pathetic life…every one seems to have their own way to go, don't they Dean?"

The thing approached Dean, who seemed to be frozen and kept talking, whispering into Dean's ears. " Your father has a quest…he left you. You brother has a dream…he left you as well".

The thing backed away quickly when Dean unexpectedly stood up and made a quick move trying to attack the thing…of course, the chain on his ankle interrupted his sudden lack of control and anger. He fought against the shackles…he wanted to kill the son of a bitch. How the hell was that possible? He knew all of Dean's weak points. Those words being whispered into his ears made his blood boil…he didn't have the same cards to play anymore, not when he lost his cool like that, getting nothing but a satisfied grin from his captor.

" Losing it already Dean? You don't want to hear about it uh?"

" You bastard, shut the hell up!". He said pulling the chain expecting for a miracle.

" Come on, what I am saying isn't really new for you. Sammy told you…he wants to go back to college once this is over…and then? You'll be all alone…again. You have no quest, no dreams, and no friends. Just a huge deal of guilt and concern".

" You are wrong…You know nothing about me". Dean said sitting on the bed again, lowering his head.

Was the thing right…again? Of course, Sam's dream was on hold for a while; Dean knew he felt like getting back to college. Was Dean to be alone again? What about his father? Once that was over, there wouldn't be a reason why they couldn't hunt together…right?

" Are my words sinking in Dean? Is that what's bothering you?" The thing asked teasing. Dean didn't answer…he just gazed emptily at the wall, distracted by his thoughts.

The thing came close and slapped Dean hard on the face, making Dean reacted furiously…for the second time…going for his attacker clenching his fist. Again… not being able to punch the scum, as captor took a few steps back.

" Fuck!" He shouted. The punch made him get back to his shitty situation, losing the train of thought…in a very painful way.

" I talk, you answer me, got it?" The thing justified the violent act.

" Screw you… damn it!" Dean rubbed his hands on his face where he'd been slapped.

" I will give you some time Dean… to think about what I have just said. You know deep down it's true".

Saying so, the thing left the room, turning the lights off, leaving Dean in the dark room once more…haunted by fear… the fear of realizing how truth can hurt. Being abandoned by his loved ones… _Shit_.

Dean heard the door being locked.

" Where are you Sammy?" He whispered softly lying on the bed and closing his eyes. Perhaps if he could fall asleep again…just a little… and forget about that madness.

Hospital.

Julie waited 20 minutes…nothing. Sam still was walking around the hospital with no permission. She was a receptionist, but damn, she had some authority there, and Sam totally disrespected her. Thinking about that, she reached for the phone.

" I need security on the first floor right away. I have a person walking around with no permission".

**I took quite a while to write this one. I really hope you enjoyed it! More trouble is about to come! Please, tell me what you think, leave a review! And have a great Holyday everyone:)**


	8. Twisted game

**Note: As always, I am very thankful for all the lovely reviews! I really appreciate them:)**

**And…I own Nothing about supernatural… well, life isn't perfect right? LOL**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Chapter 8**

Sam had been walking from corridor to corridor, secretively opening doors to check inside. Where the hell was that nun? She had to be around.

He knew pretty well his time was running short. Not only Dean's life was at stake, but Julie was not gonna let him walk around freely impelling his will upon her authority.

He had his gun prepared in case he needed.

Another corridor…several doors. Why had the hospitals to be huge like that? Floors, doors, section A, section B… it seemed not to have an end.

After 20 minutes going from door to door, he finally found her, sitting by the bed of a man. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to in some sort of trance. Observing, he noticed she was whispering some words.

Getting his gun ready, he silently approached her, trying to listen what she was whispering. The words were in Latin and for him, they sounded like an enchantment.

_How shocking_ he thought the obvious. Of course it had something to do with spells. Praying was the last thing the woman would be whispering for the poor patients.

Sam took a good look at the man on the bed; he was in his 40's, good looking, dark hair, well dressed too. A wound could be well noticed on his head, his arms were all scratched, purple eye, cut lip… and the list would go on.

The man was in a real bad shape. Perhaps he was beat up … badly. Or he could have gotten involved in some accident. If there was something Sam knew about, were all the kinds of trouble that could cause so damage in a person. After all, the brothers had been like that more times than they could recall. _Poor man_ he thought.

" Stop whatever you are doing". He said aiming his gun straight to her head. His voice sounded firm and angry.

The woman, who hadn't noticed Sam's presence in the room stopped right away and looked at him. She was in her 50's, her hair was slightly gray. Time had not been kind to her, as she seemed older than she probably was. No one would suspect such woman could harm a living soul. _Looks can deceive_. Sam remembered Meg, she didn't seem dangerous at first either. Just a girl trying to be independent… indeed, looks could deceive.

" Sammy. I was wondering how long you'd take to come back". She said normally, not giving a damn for the gun.

" Why is this happening to my brother?" he said closing and locking the door behind as he heard several footsteps coming along, the gun still aimed at her. He had nothing but coldness expressed on his face.

" Straight to the point". She looked at the man she had been enchanting too. He changed from a quiet sleep to disturbed one.

" They are dealing with their guilt Sam… I am not doing anything". She remained calm. Her tranquility was pissing Sam off. Although he was very patient, when the issue was his brother's life, his patience would just fall short.

" Bullshit! Cut the crap right now; tell me how to stop it".

As soon as Sam asked the question, they heard hard banging on the door. Someone was knocking hard on it. "Ma'am, is everything alright there?" It was the security guard. He had found out where the nun was… leading him straight to Sam as well.

He pressed the gun hard against the woman's temple.

" Say everything is fine". He whispered. She gave him a dirty look in disapproval.

" Ma'am!" The guard asked again. Sam looked at her angrily and pressed the gun harder on her head. She gazed at Sam; his eyes were full of hate. She was sure… at that moment; he was capable of anything, even sending her ass to a grave.

" Say it". He whispered again.

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Dean had managed to take a nap and have some disturbed dreams due the previous conversation. He kept his eyes closed, trying to get some more rest. He knew he had to keep his mind busy. Real memories were all he had to maintain his sanity, trying to concentrate in good things to keep his thoughts away from desperation. He didn't even want to rally the comments of his last chat. To think about loneliness…about being abandoned by the person he pretty much dedicated his life to, were not the best means to put himself together. Dean's childhood….or better yet, Dean's life as he had no childhood were about taking care of Sam, being a good son and hunting. Now a son of a bitch came along to distort all the good he had left.

_Good thoughts Dean…come on_… he began distracting himself. _A bar…hamburger, lots of hot chicks, all of them giving me their numbers…hot shower…M&Ms…a shot gun to put a hole in the middle of that thing's head... _ " That would be nice" he whispered at the idea of killing his captor and getting to a bar.

How long would he be able to keep a grin on his face? That task was getting harder and harder. All his weak points were being fiercely attacked. If he could at least find the weak point of that freak. If he could go a little further inside that room and find something to pick the stupid lock of the chain that held him.

_Just a bunch of ' ifs' …_ The fact was; he couldn't do a damn thing.

He didn't know how much time had passed by and he heard the door being once again unlocked

_Be strong…you know how it works, just…don't lose it this time._ He encouraged himself.

The noise of the door opening made Dean remember some movies he had watched some time ago. When a person had been kept as hostage…in some dirty room, every time a door was opened, the victims had their eyes wide opened and the freaking noise just made it all intense, all that to keep the viewers curious enough to see who was coming through the door. Another detail, the door was always opened very slowly.

_Funny_ he thought, the person coming through the door was no mystery, and the door was opened quite fast and closed again, fast.

The thing approached Dean and noticed his eyes closed.

" Nap time is over, wake up!" It said firmly.

" Five more minutes" he mumbled, pretending to be as lazy as he could. A grin appeared on his lips.

The thing smiled back and gazed at Dean in deep concentration; he slightly moved his lips and mumbled a word. In a wink, Dean's body jerked and he found himself on sitting position. Again, against his will. _Fuck!_ He thought. What else was this thing able to do?

" Bad mood, are we?" Dean said rubbing his eyes and adjusting himself to the induced position. He leaned his back on the bed.

The thing went out and came back a second later bringing a tray. On it there was a glass of water and a burger. The tray was placed beside Dean.

" Party time! Whoopee…" Dean said making fun. He grabbed the burger and started eating with some generous bites.

" I see you didn't give a second thought about our chat like I told you to".

" Yeah, sorry. My mind got busy thinking about girls and beer. It was more interesting".

" I see". The thing said getting the chair and sitting comfortably on it once more, gazing at Dean.

" Did you have sweet dreams?" He asked with satisfaction.

_Wonderful!_ Dean thought. He dreamed about the day Sam left to college…the day his dad went missing... and he was alone.

" Wonderful dream, beaches, the sea, sun and the whole Village People members singing Y.M.C.A". Dean joked. He was not about to please his captor by confessing his fear.

" Sure you did, that's why you were mumbling your brother's name during your sleep". The thing kept staring at Dean, whose smile faded. A serious expression took over.

" So, what comes next uh?" He had some sarcasm on his words. " You want to make me feel guilt for World war? Hungry people in Africa? What?"

The thing kept his smile on. "You got it all wrong, didn't you? I am not here to blame you Dean. Everything I said was nothing but truth. It's part of your life…your decisions."

Dean kept his silence; he wouldn't give this guy any ammo for his own execution.

" You can't escape from your ghosts Dean. You try to make your way, you fight scary screwed up evil day after day…yet, your biggest battle…is within you. This grin on your face fools no one…it doesn't fool me".

" That's touching, really. Heartbreaking, but I heard it all before". Dean didn't give up his confidence this time. Of course he was shaken inside, and the trick was not to show it off.

" Your confidence is brilliant. I admire that. How strong you can be after all you've been through…just keep something on your mind. I still have a goal to achieve…and I won't give it a break until I do…think about it Dean".

By saying so, the thing approached Dean and abruptly grabbed his throat, pushing Dean harshly into a lying position. The captor closed his eyes and mouthed a few words never letting go of Dean's neck, who was struggling to breath.

" Son of a bitch" Dean gagged. He had both of his hands trying to push the thing away from his throat. Not successfully. Little by little, Dean felt weak, like if someone had just given him some sleeping pills… his vision getting blurred… and his senses were giving in. What was that all about? Why pass through such mind torture and end up killed like that? It didn't make any sense! There was no one to save him, no one to kick the door and save his butt.

Dean was almost giving in to darkness when he noticed the strong grip getting loose and his throat was free again. Those seconds felt like an eternity to him. He began quickly inhaling air in desperation, coughing a little, and attempting to get his breathing to normal.

Gee! Had the thing felt sorry for him? Not likely! Maybe that was just to scare Dean a little, or a lot!.

He didn't really care, all that matter was, what would happen as soon as he opened his eyes, his senses were slowly coming back to him. Dean had no idea what else could be used against him, which memories.

Something shocked the heck out of Dean when finally managed to get his eyes opened. He found himself, sitting on a bench, inside a huge church.

_What the hell?_

Wasn't he supposed to be lying on a bed, with that freak staring at him? He took a good look on himself. He was wearing a white shirt and black tie, black suit and black pants. Then he took a look around…no one else was there. The place was dead, not another living soul, only an extended line of empty benches and flowers. The windows were dark in a matter he couldn't tell if it was day or night.

Taking a deep breath he got up and walked to the main door and tried it. Locked.

"Helloooo!" he screamed. The only response was the echo of his own voice screaming 'hello' back. " Shit".

He had a weird sensation; it all seemed to be happening in slow motion inside his head. He rubbed his sore neck and began checking the place.

That was a typical church, angels and saints painted on the wall and on the ceiling, sculptures of saints all over, wooden benches…and silence. The silence was what bothered him the most.

_Dean…_ he heard his name being whispered. He turned around and for the first time he paid attention to the altar. In front it, there were two coffins.

" Oh God…" what was about to come now? He let out a sigh. " Anything but this…"

He took small steps and began walking toward the coffins, very slowly, swallowing hard the knot he felt in his throat.

He approached one of the coffins and carefully opened it.

" Dad". He whispered. John Winchester was lying on it, his arms crossed on his chest. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, the image of his dead father was more than he had prepared himself for.

Then he gazed to the other coffin. He knew who was inside. His hands were shaking and his strength was betraying him.

He opened the other coffin. Now the tears couldn't be held anymore…they ran through Dean's face like a waterfall.

" No…Sammy".

The lights of the church suddenly went out, leaving only the two candles by his family's coffins lighting the place up.

For the first time, Dean felt really alone…no one to rely on, no one to rescue, no expectations.

" What is this supposed to mean uh? You want to show me what loneliness feel like! I know what it feels like…you fucking asshole!" Dean screamed at the top of his voice.

" Is this a test? You wanna blame me for that too…you freak…you wanna blame me for that!" Dean shouted angrily, kneeling on the floor and letting the tears come.

The twisted game had just gone too far. Dean knew he'd rather die first protecting his father and especially his brother, than dealing with their death.

" That's enough…please…" he pleaded, avoiding to look at the coffins.

After a few seconds Dean heard roars of laughter…distant and evil.

" You are all alone!" His own voice echoed. And the laughter went on, louder than before.

" No!" Dean screamed squeezing his eyes shut.

When he opened them again, he realized that he was back in the room, still lying on the bed, still chained, that freak was still around.

His body and face all sweaty, his breathing was hard and his heart was beating fast. He felt his throat dry, his emotions confused.

He looked at the door and saw his captor staring at him.

" Put your misery to an end Dean" . The thing gave Dean and dirty look and closed the door.

Dean only understood what he was told, when he looked at the chair by his bed.

A gun had been placed on it… a loaded gun.

**That's it for this chapter. I hope you liked and please, please, leave reviews! I'd love to know your opinion! Great week for everyone! ;)**


	9. The truth at last

**Note: I am always grateful for the reviews! I love them…I appreciate all the opinions and advices given! Thanks a lot! Keep reviewing :)**

**Also: I own nothing about supernatural, same old same speech, you all know about it!**

**Chapter 9 - Enjoy :)**

Sam had his gun firmly pressed against the nun's neck, he was not joking. Anger and fear were the only feelings he had at the moment. Angry for not being able to help Dean yet, scared for his brother's life.

The nun noticed Sam's apprehension. She swallowed hard.

" It's ok. He just needs some advice, some of God's words". She said calmly.

The hard knocking ceased. " Call if you need". The security guard said and left.

Sam removed the gun from her neck; however he kept the gun steady on his hands.

"Good call. Now tell me…how can I stop that freak from killing my brother?" Sam asked objectively.

The nun shook her head and sat on the chair again. The man on the bed still seemed to be disturbed by his dreams.

" You can't stop it…I can't stop it…your brother's the only who can".

" You're lying". Sam had authority in his voice, in his opinion that was big fat load of crap!.

He took a good at her, making an attempt to figure her out. Was she indeed a human being? Better safe than sorry. He gave it a shot.

" Cristo" he whispered… but nothing happened, which meant the woman was no demon. The EMF inside his pocked was silent as ever…no ghosts around. What the hell was she then?

Just a regular woman who enjoyed making people suffer?

Truth to be told, Sam knew people could be quite evil as well. The Benders had been a great example of that; they were hunting human beings just for fun. So, why not make people go crazy just for fun? Dean was surely beyond that by now.

" Why are you doing it? For fun? Cause you think you're superior…you can judge who suffers and who lives happily ever after?"

Again she shook her head and gave the man on the bed a look.

" See this man? He has serious issues to be solved. Unfortunately he is in a coma, so he'll have to figure things out from wherever he might be".

She got up and came close to Sam, as close as he allowed her to be.

" I do it, cause these people can't do it alone. All the ones I chose, are deeply troubled inside Sam. They even might seem all happy on the outside; laughing, making jokes and all, make you believe how well they are. The truth is… they are being eaten by guilt. Sooner or later, all of this guilt becomes a bomb… when the bomb explodes; the consequences are …you know?"

" You expect me to believe that? That your intentions are nothing but pure?"

" Believe what you want". She said teasing him.

" Still, you've got no right to do so! This thing is hurting Dean!" He raised his voice.

Just like Sam would have guessed. She was just a regular person, with some supernatural knowledge, playing God.

Sam wondered why he still got shocked with things people were able to do. Maybe because he wanted to believe there was some good left …apparently not. Not even when this person is a nun. A person that should dedicate her life to help the others; to give advice and show the right way to go. What was happening to everyone?

Was there anybody who could be trusted?

" Past is never really gone or forgotten Sam. We must learn how to deal with it".

" How did you do it? I wanna know all about it" He pointed the gun right between her eyes. " I wanna know it right now".

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Dean contemplated the gun by his bed. He couldn't stop the incoming tears; he couldn't shake his feelings off. He felt desperate, abandoned, helpless. The image of his dad and brother dead had caused more damage than he thought.

_If I'm unable to protect them…if I fail…if I'm not a good son and brother…I cold cost them their lives…_

He was aware that was a dangerous gig…damn, he was quite aware of that. How many times had he cheated death and even…been face to face with death. More times than he could remember.

" Put an end to my misery" he whispered to himself reaching for the gun.

The gun was absolutely tempting to him. He was tired of remembering, tired of dealing with past and present events that went wrong. Enough was enough, each person has a limit.

More tears came.

He sluggishly pointed the gun to his head. This time no one was controlling his actions, sending messages to his mind, it just seemed like the best way out, or the only way out.

" Just do it" he said to himself sobbing. His hands were badly shaking.

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She let out sigh and began explaining.

" When your brother's heart stopped, I was there in the room with the doctors." ( she makes a pause and observes Sam's reaction) " When they were trying to bring him back to life, I was enchanting an old spell, used by witches when they wanted revenge".

She grabbed a small book and showed it to Sam.

"This spell brings another side of the person to life as well, a side that arises from death. It makes your personal executioner become real. It's just another part of Dean; a part that was supposed to remain forsaken and dead".

Sam had his eyes wide opened. By now he had got the whole picture. That was why the thing looked like Dean again. The thing insisted many times that they were the same. Indeed, they were.

_My God Dean_ Sam thought. His brother had no idea what he was up against. Not something they could burn or shoot with rock salt. Not even use an enchantment. That also explained why Sam scared it away with the prayer in Latin. Although this thing wasn't in fact a demon, it was an evil being. Dean's evil side.

"The only way for him to get rid of it…is to overcome all his guilt, remorse and the entire package that comes with it. After that, this side of him dies again…as there would be no longer conflicts to keep it alive". She finished her explanation.

" But why him? I feel guilty too…many people feel guilty. This is not something you overcome overnight" Sam assured knowing very well how long he felt guilty for Jessica's death.

The nun offered him a tender smile. " Your guilty over Jessica has been overcome Sam. Dean has a heavy burden on his shoulder. Besides, it was not your heart that stopped on the doctor's table. The nearly death experience is essential for the spell to work".

Sam was now sitting on the chair, letting her words sink in. He couldn't tell if he was relieved or even more scared.

" What happens if he can't do it? What if he can't overcome his guilt?" Sam asked already knowing the answer.

" Well Sam, this other side of Dean won't take it easy, after all, his goal is to make Dean's life a living hell. He won't kill your brother if that's what you wanna know".

" But…?" Sam asked.

"But he'll find a way to convince Dean of giving up the fight…and feel like ending his torment".

"He'd never do such a thing". Sam assured more to himself than to her.

" Are you sure?". She said simply.

Now he knew the truth, and there was absolutely nothing for him to do. His hands were tied for the first time. That was a problem Dean had to solve on his own.

_No Sam, you can be there for him_. Sam told himself. He could support Dean; tell Dean how to get freedom from his captor.

Dean had always been there for Sam, one way or another, he gave his best to keep Sam's ass alive. Dean didn't mind the cost of his actions; an arm, an eye, his life. No matter what, he'd be there for Sammy.

Now Sam had to be strong and be there for Dean too, if he knew where his brother was.

_Where are you Dean?_

" Where is he?" Sam asked simply, once again aiming his gun. Time was not to be wasted.

" Don't know Sammy. That's up to you".

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Dean had the gun quite pressed against his temple, his index finger glued to the trigger…hesitating.

Sam came to his mind. Dean remembered that Sam and his father were still out there somewhere. And hell, when weren't them in danger?

Together they saved people's lives; together they risked their lives and together they felt the satisfaction of helping someone. That was about it, day after day.

If he shot himself, Sam and John would continue their quest , still in danger…and he would be no longer able to protect his little brother…to assist his father…to find his mother's killer.

" I can't". Dean convinced himself putting the gun down. For a second the gun had called his attention and looked like his best friend. For a second Dean had almost pulled the trigger.

That same moment, his captor opened the door harshly and slammed it shut.

Dean looked at him smugly.

" I'm better than this, you piece of shit". Dean said getting the gun again and waving it.

" You were so close Dean. All you had to do was to pull the trigger…and all this nightmare would be over".

" Nice try, really. I clap my hands; the coffins were a smart touch". Dean pointed the gun to his captor.

" I've been dreaming of putting a hole through your head…honestly, this bullet will do much better inside your head than inside mine". Dean said satisfied.

The thing took a step forward showing no fear. " You can't kill me Dean".

Dean gave a sculptured grin. " I think I can". He aimed the gun to his captor's heart and placed his finger on the trigger.

" If you kill me, you kill yourself either ways".

Dean looked at him suspicious, while his captor reached for a knife and waved it in the air.

" Look". His captor said. With a quick move, he stabbed his own thigh, very deeply.

" Ouch!" Dean let out a scream kneeling on the floor because of the pain. Although there was no blood or anything visible on Dean's thigh, he felt that stab, deep and painful. " Son of a bitch!"

His captor had the same sculptured grin now. " I told you before, we are the same, you hurt me, you hurt yourself…you can't kill me".

**I hope you people got curious there…LOL just kidding! I actually hope you enjoyed and please…please, leave a review:) Nice day everyone!**


	10. Another strategy

**Note: Thanks so much everyone for reading my fic and leaving the lovely reviews! I appreciate:) We are almost in the end!**

**By the way, I own nothing about supernatural :(**

**Chapter 10 – Enjoy!**

Sam looked at the nun suspicious. She had given him a lot of information, explained it all, which didn't mean she was a good person or that she had taken the right decision about Dean. He was having some trouble to figure her out. After all, was she evil or good?

" What do you mean? It's up to me? I've got no freaking idea!" Sam said rubbing his eyes. He was tired, of the whole situation.

" Listen Sam, this Thing and your brother think alike". She gave him a tip.

" Ok, I got that, he probably has his share of Dean's way of thinking".

She gave him a look expecting him to get somewhere…that didn't happen, all she got was a couple of minutes in silence and Sam's eyes waiting for the rest of the conversation.

" Your point is…?" he wished she would just spit it out!

" If Dean was kidnapped and he wanted you to find him…than he would wish to be taken somewhere…possible to get figured out".

Sam had the most puzzled expression on his face. Yes, sure Dean would want that, so the kidnapper would do the total opposite.

The nun disappointed, let out a sigh. " You brother's kidnapper is your own brother Sam, but a different part of him! He will take Dean somewhere you can find him! He thinks like Dean… that's what Dean would have thought".

Was the woman losing her mind? Perhaps not, that sort of made sense. After all, they'd been through so much, and that was not even so absurd. Sam laughed at himself for not thinking about it first.

" That's crazy…but it makes sense…in a very twisted way". He agreed. The woman was either nuts or a genius.

" So, if your brother wanted to be found…where would he go, being sure you'd find him?" She asked making her point.

" An old house I guess, one where the people in town would be afraid to go because of some scary story…like if the house is haunted. The place would be quiet and far from the city…not even police officers have the guts to go there. It'd be perfect".

Sam explained. It was a lame place, kinda obvious too. However, that's what he'd think about.

" If you think so, than what are you still doing here? Go find him! Just remember, you can only warn him…that's all". She finished.

" I will, thanks". He said heading to the door. He gave her a last glimpse. " I don't like what you've been doing to these people and I can't kill you, but I won't let it go either. I just have to help Dean first". He warned and closed the door behind him.

" I'll be long gone by the time you get back" She whispered to herself with a smile.

When Sam left the room there were two guards waiting. Julia was there too, not looking happy. The guards grabbed Sam by his arms. Some nurses were looking at him to see what the fuss was all about, some doctors too. That hospital was way to quiet and nothing really interesting, putting aside the patients, happened very often. Any chance for confusion was like a party for the curious eyes of the bored staff.

" Come on, I don't have time for this". He said not feeling like a second round of trouble, and his gun would be used if needed.

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Dean was getting himself together, still was kneeled on the floor. The pain had not been so much, it just had gotten him by surprise. The gun had been taken from him, so easily, like a candy being taken away form a kid.. He looked at the chain restraining him.

_Idiot…should have shot this damn thing first to get free…very stupid Dean…_ Dean thought to himself for lacking such a simple and obvious idea!

" Not fair ya know. How come I feel your pain and you don't feel mine?" Dean asked standing up.

" Oh, what would be fun about that?" The thing simply answered.

_Damn fun for me_ he thought again about the irony.

" I think I passed the test right? I didn't use the gun and you have nothing else against me, so… let me go…I won't kick your ass… _not to get mine kicked too_… and we are both happy. How about that?" Dean asked with a grin, trying to ignore his sore thigh.

" How naive Dean…we're not done yet. Your conscious is dripping with guilt…it's kinda pathetic actually".

"Nobody is perfect". Dean said pulling his restraints.

His captor calmly leaned against the wall and stared at Dean.

" I almost broke your wall, didn't I? If you just admitted your mistakes…this whole shit could end". He starts pacing around the bed. " Just say it out loud…you are a reckless brother…a bad son…you disappointed and hurt everyone who has been in your life. How hard is that?" He stopped in front of Dean.

" You must be confusing me with someone else dude. I'm not admitting a damn thing". Dean answered calmly. Was that it? After all that mind shit he wanted to break Dean with a bunch of lies? He'd been a great son, always obeying his father and looking after Sam. He'd saved more lives than he could remember.

Slowly, he approaches Dean until they were closely face to face. " I understand Dean. Truth is nothing but scary and painful. Having your feelings taking control of you gotta be freaking frightening…then why don't you allow yourself to accept truth?" He finished looking deeply into Dean's eyes expecting his reaction.

" Wow, Freud would be so proud of you". He puts on a smug expression on his face. "You saw right through me. Congrats". He got proud of himself for being able to keep his cool, at least this time.

Annoyed, his captor throws a punch at Dean. A hard, well intentioned punch to his jaw. He knew Dean was strong and hard to deal with, but he expected to have broken him by now.

Dean turned his face back to his captor cleaning his bloody lip with a finger.

" I guess I should've seen that coming". Dean said as he looked at his hands and saw the blood.

His captor let out a sigh. " I'm getting pretty tired of your babbling Dean".

" That makes two of us" Dean added.

He was the one tired of this shit. Chick flick moments were not his favorite kind of chit chat. Why people insisted on having those with him? Couldn't they just let it fucking go?

" I need some time" his captor whispered to himself the gave Dean a dirty look. " You look so tired Dean…maybe you can get some sleep".

_Oh no…shit. _ Dean thought. He knew what was about to come " Umm…I'm good, not tired at all". He said simply. His captor offered him a bad intentioned grin.

"You are extremely tired Dean, your eyes seem to be heavy, your body is weak…you are sleepy… don't you agree?"

Dean tried to step back, and fight the sudden tiresome feeling that hit him. He could not remember feeling like that before…not even after a job. His brain seemed to be spinning inside his head. His arms felt heavy and his vision got blurred. _Damn it!_

" No…I'm…ok…I'm…" That was it, before Dean could finish his sentence; he fell on the bed into a deep sleep.

" You're tough, but I know your weakness". The thing said with smile planning his next move".

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Julie looked into Sam's eyes and all of the sudden her anger was gone. His puppy eyes were begging to just let it go without a fuss.

" Please Julie, my brother's in trouble. I'm sorry about before…I just…have no time to waste". He pleaded not wanting to disturb even more the peace of the hospital. " Please".

Julie lets out a sigh and analyzes him expression, then she looks at the guards holding Sam firmly. " Let him go guys, it's ok". She finally said. The two huge guards let go of Sam's arms and go away mumbling something not very pleasant. Sam nods his head to Julie. "Thanks" he says and hurries out of the hospital.

Sam stopped by a coffee shop, which was a great place to get information. Everybody liked to share their knowledge about the city's haunted place. Not if some disaster or murder had occurred, then they preferred to let story dies. Otherwise, they had a mouth full of excitement. The bad about it was…they were also great liars. All stories had extra unnecessary information, added to make things a bit more interesting.

He sat by a man who was drinking vodka. The place was quite typical. A radio playing old songs, the Tv on…some tables empty, the bartender cleaning the glasses, poor light. Sam and Dean had been to a hundred places like that one.

" Can I get you anything young man?" The bartender asked.

" A beer" Sam answered. " So umm, I've asking for some directions and a teenager told to stay away from certain roads…something about a haunted house". He began the conversation trying to sound as natural as possible.

" Teens, they are full of crap". The man drinking vodka said. Sam smiled in triumph, they had gotten the bait.

" I know, I was wondering about it though. After all, I prefer to avoid those roads myself, just in case. Not that I believe in ghost story". Sam said when the bartender brought the beer.

" Ghosts!…the dead are always among the living… believe me boy, you'd better stay away". The bartender said serious. " We shouldn't dare what we can't see, that's what my grandma used to say, and she was damn right".

" Bullshit Larry, you're scaring the kid". The man with the vodka said. " There is no such thing as evil ghosts. We are the ones who won't let them rest in peace".

" Why do you say so?" Sam asked interested.

" Here we go again" Said the bartender, who was sick and tired of hearing the same story over and over.

" The old house by the lake…poor family who lived there. Good people they were. Loving mother and father…the kids moved away after they got married…the parents died not long after they moved". He began the story.

" How did they die?" Sam asked.

" They were old, that's all. Died of natural causes. But everyone likes to invent stories… saying they had a pact with a demon".

" How come?" Sam asked, thinking the people could be right about that.

" They died at the same night, on the bed, holding hands". The man added some mystery to the last part of the story. Sam looked at him serious, trying not to laugh. All that sounded like a big lie, which didn't matter, he just wanted to know about the house.

" Is it hard to find…this place…I mean…just so I won't get to the wrong road by mistake?" He asked finally, cutting the crap.

" Not really, there is a road that…." The bartender started explaining.

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Dean woke up after a few hours, feeling a little better. His body was no longer so worn out and his mind had stopped spinning. _That wasn't so bad._

He opened his eyes; his captor was sitting in front of him, looking quite happy considering the failure of his plan so far.

That's also when Dean realized he was not on the bed anymore. His hands cuffed above his head, by a chain coming from the ceiling, his feet barely touching the floor. _Terrific! Can this day get any worse?_

" Good afternoon Dean. You did sleep a lot".

" That's why I'm so handsome…I sleep a lot". He said finding his balance not to damage his arms so much…which didn't seem like an easy job to do.

" I've been thinking and I realized that using your memories were not being enough, so, maybe if I use a different strategy, I get to make you understand what I want".

Dean lets out a slight laugh. That didn't shock him at all. It actually made him proud of himself….for turning things so god damn difficult for his captor. He wished Sam would hurry up… _worst rescue service ever_. That thought amused him. Sam was probably considering all the odds, checking every little detail, asking questions, researching. That was him, wanting to know everything before making a move. _You could follow your instincts just this once though._

" Ohh, I am dying out of curiosity". Dean said shifting uncomfortably. His arms felt very sore.

" Good. So tell me then, what do you regret in your life Dean?" His captor remained sitting on the chair gazing at Dean.

Dean smiles at him. What the hell was he planning now with that kinda question?

" Umm, let me see…I regret not…having sex with the library girl from my last gig…damn, she was hot!" Dean says satisfied.

His captor grins at Dean. He stands up, holds his index finger and breaks it with no notice. All Dean heard was his captor's finger cracking and his own index finger hurting like hell. His captor showed no pain at all, Dean on the other hand, let out a loud scream. God knows that someone in China heard his scream when he felt his own finger cracking too.

" Son of a …what was that for?" Dean asked. He had forgotten this tiny detail, all that happened to his captor, happened to him, the only difference was, the freaking thing didn't feel the pain, only Dean felt it…just like he'd felt the stab on his thigh… now his broken finger.

" What do you regret Dean?" His captor asked again holding his other index finger.

" I regret not…going to a Metallica's show…they rock.". He said not allowing his captor to take control of the situation. Dean was just waiting to hear another cracking come from his captor…and the pain to himself.

Right after he finished his comment, his captor broke his other finger showing an incredible coldness. Dean lets out another scream.

" I still have eight fingers to go". The thing said. Dean was painting. " What do you regret Dean?".

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Sam was driving being very careful not to lose the entrance of the house. The man had explained it was a narrow road, kinda hidden that led to this old and apparently haunted house.

He had been listening to Metallica. How ironic he thought. When Dean hears it, sometimes, Sam goes crazy, but now that his brother was missing, Sam felt soothed by listening to it.

" There you are" he said to himself when he spotted the small road. Now all he had to do was pray…for this one to be the right house. After a few minutes driving through it, he saw the lake.

Sam parks the car and steeps out of it. The lake seemed to be so abandoned, like everything else around. It was surrounded by trees and grass, some stones and some flowers.

He saw a tire swing hanging on one of the tress, it was very old too. Probably it belonged to one of the kids who lived in the house back then.

Slowly Sam approached the house. _It's so big. _He thought. He takes a deep breath and carefully heads to the door.

**If I kept going this chapter would come out a book LOL! Still some more trouble coming, I hope you liked! Let me know:) leave a review and have a great day!**


	11. Shock therapy

**Note: ( me and my notes lol) Anyway…I'm very happy with the reviews, and even happier that you are enjoying my fic! So thanks a lot… and keep reviewing...love opinions!**

**Again…I own nothing about Supernatural.**

**Chapter 11 Hope you like it:)**

Dean was all sweaty and gasping for air. One by one, he heard the cracking, one by one, he felt his fingers breaking. One sarcastic answer after other…his grin was beginning to fade from his face. After seven broken fingers he wasn't so sure if joking around was the best idea he could have come up with, after seven broken fingers, he had no more strength to scream, just moan and make a face revealing his pain.

The cuffs were tight and he could no longer fee his hands or his arms for that matter.

" What do you regret Dean?". His captor asked holding another finger, ready to break it.

Dean recalled another movie. The ones with people being kidnapped…some tried to remain calm, others would just freak out. When heroes were being tortured by their kidnappers in a movie, they remained as strong as they could…not to give the damn villain the satisfaction of achieving their goals.

_Real life is a bitch though!_ He thought. Of course that having your fingers broken was painful…, he just didn't know how fucking painful that was.

" What am I supposed to regret?" Dean finally asked.

It didn't do much good though, his captor gave him a 'smart ass look' and Dean heard another cracking. One more finger, one more injury to his collection.

" Shit! What the hell do you want me to fucking say!" Dean snapped back angry.

" This is obviously not working" His captor said simply and left the room, leaving Dean confused about his last statement. The door was locked.

Dean's wrists were bloodied and beyond sore, his arms were numb, as was the rest of his body. His feet were still barely touching the floor, putting all Dean's weight to his arms.

This time he really was feeling weak, tired…his strength worn out…

He wished he'd just faint or something, anything would be better than staying half awake, like he was. He had his head hung, and his eyes closed. No sound could be heard…that made him wonder what the hell that thing was up to. There were things way worse and more painful than broken fingers.

_What do I regret?_. He flinched at that thought. He regreted a lot of things…and they had already talked about most of them. He needed to come up with something to say, before things got ugly for him.

At that point, he didn't have a clue if Sam knew where he was…if Sam had found a way to save him…if he still could count on Sam to get him out…or just accept what he was asked.

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Sam opened the door. The house was dark and silent. He turned on his flash light and held his gun firmly on his hands.

Taking a good look around, he noticed the house seemed to be well preserved, different from the other houses they'd been to.

The first room was a living room. There were two comfortable couches, a huge rug in the middle of the room. Frames of the family hung on the wall. Sam stopped for a moment to take a look at it.

_Regular family…apparently_ he thought. The mother was still young as was the father and the children were no more than 5 and 7 years old. A boy and girl. _The family they could've been._ Sammy imagined. If the demon hadn't killed his mother. If his father hadn't turned them into little soldiers. _'If'…_

There were several doors around and a stairway that led to another bunch of doors upstairs.

_Great…like if I had all the time in the world._

" Dean!" he screamed. He knew the chances of an answer was almost none; he had to give it a shot anyway. _Where are you?_

He tried another door, still downstairs. He found a kitchen. Letting out a sigh, he tries another door, where he found a bathroom. _This is gonna take me forever!_

He decided to try upstairs. He found three bathrooms, then a library. The library was considerably big…with some shelves…separating the books by category. Romance, fiction, religion, philosophy and school books. It was so different from the books him and Dean used to read. John Winchester taught them about symbols, urban legends, guns, ghosts, etc…those were the books Sam and Dean were allowed to read.

The other room was a bedroom with double bed, which he assumed it was the parent's room.

Sam remembered what the man had said about the pact. The couple had died together, holding hands, on the bed. That bed.

Although Sam faced the creepiest creatures and the weirdest situations every week, he came to the conclusion that dying on the same day was one creepy story…more bizarre than love story actually. He didn't spot anything that indicated rituals or pacts in the room. No books with spells, no objects, candles…nothing out of regular. How had they managed to die together…was a mystery. Could have been an odd coincidence…or not.

The kid's room was like a sanctuary…the bedspread of the bed, the carpet, the toys…just like if they were gonna live there forever. There were dolls, balls, diaries, a music box, a baseball glove…and even some school books and a backpack.

_Conservative parents…or lunatics._

Sam finished upstairs with some dismay…that house had to be the one…It couldn't be so regular…he went downstairs again to give it another try.

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Dean was practically asleep; his mind was miles away from his reality. He needed to focus in something else, forget about the pain…so he did. He went back to the good moments, the few good moments of his childhood and adolescence.

If there was something Dean had gotten pretty good at along the years, was to find a way to dodge his mind from body pain. Almost as if he could get out of his body and take his mind somewhere else.

His captor got back in the room holding a knife. He saw Dean, with his head hung down, eyes closed, not moving.

He smiled at his sight. Dean was giving in…losing the strong façade.

" You just gave me a better idea Dean". He whispered to himself when he realized Dean hadn't noticed his presence.

His captor put the knife aside for a moment and goes outside again to shortly return with a bucket and a shock device.

Smiling evilly at his victim, he throws the water on Dean's whole body and face, soaking his clothes and hair.

Dean wakes up in a jumpy kinda way, moaning and shaking.

Notwithstanding being woken up like that, the water was extremely cold, freezing as matter of fact, just like the water from a frozen lake.

" Son…of…a..bitch…" Dean said clenching his teeth. The cold clothes were making his body freeze little by little.

" No sleeping Dean, this is not a hotel".

" I …noticed…th..the..crapy..service" He said barely being able to keep his eyes opened.

" Let's try that conversation one more time, shall we?" His captor said waving the shock device to Dean.

" Yay…now…we…hav…have a …party". _Shit! I'm screwed._

" I'm sure you know what this little toy can do right?" The thing asked approaching Dean.

" Sure. It can…rock.. a guy's…world". He said. Yeah, he knew exactly what that device could do.

The torture he'd been through with the Benders was welcome now…that hot poker wasn't nice…however, due to his recent experience with electronic discharges, which cost the life of an innocent person to save his own, he wasn't very anxious for a shock therapy.

Sam had had good intentions by taking him to that healer…and Dean had gotten so angry at him for that. If he was in Sam's shoes, probably he'd have done the same thing.

Definitely, the poker would be just fine.

" Let's begin. What do you regret Dean?". His captor asked, the device prepared in his hands.

" How about…you gimme… some..time..to think…about it" Dean tried when his mind went blank.

What the hell? He was trained to lie, when he needs his skill the most, it betrays him. Perhaps his nervousness was the reason. When the shock device met his eyes, all he could think about was that day…that hospital… Sam's promise of helping him…the dread of having a countdown for the end of his won life. For sure, that could scare a guy out of his wits.

" Wrong answer". Saying no more his captor pressed the device against Dean's chest, giving him a hell of a shock.

Dean found again the strength to scream, the wet and freezing clothes, of course, just made it all worse. The few seconds he felt the device on his body, seemed a lot more to him.

" I'm losing my patience Dean". His words were cold and calm. Dean already looked like shit, all the bruises and blood…his shivering. Dean was exactly like his captor wanted.

" I swear…I'll find a way…to kick …your sorry…ass" Dean gasped. _Even if that means kicking my own!_

His captor sneered at him. " I don't think so…we both know…you can't kill me"

Saying so, he pressed the device against Dean's chest one more time, keeping there a couple of seconds longer, making Dean scream in agony.

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Sam was totally lost inside the house, looking for a hidden door…anything that would lead him to some room where he hoped to find Dean.

There was no sign of life upstairs; therefore, there should be something downstairs.

He touched the walls, removed the paintings, pressed every single switch…nothing.

_Please…it has to be right house._ He pleaded to...whoever might be listening. He had lost a lot of precious time in that house. Time he didn't even know if he had. Dean could be already dead by now, or considering it.

Sam was almost giving up and leaving the place, when he heard a scream. Dean's scream.

" Dean?" He tried again. But the scream seemed oppressed and a little distant. So, there was a tiny possibility that his brother would hear his call.

Frenetically Sam began looking for the source of the scream. Fast he touched the switches again…again he found nothing.

Right after the first, Sam heard a second scream, a longer, more desperate scream. One that sent chills down his spine. Dean was in serious trouble to scream like that.

Finally, he looked to the big rug under his feet.

_So obvious Sam!_ He removed the rug…and there it was, a secret hatch…that's why the sound was so oppressed. Quickly, Sam got it opened. More steps. He took a deep breath, held his gun and began going down the stairs.

The place was oddly lighted, usually places like that were dark, and full of spider's web all over.

The stairs led him to a room. The room was well equipped with several gadgets, a fridge, a knife collection, ropes, cuffs, chains, a shower, a sleeping bag and a stove.

_Gee! _Sam thought. For a regular house, a room like this was quite unusual. This room also had another door. Sam didn't even lose his time checking if the door was locked or not, he simply kicked door, as strong as he could…and it opened.

Sam's jaw dropped when he saw Dean, chained that way, all wet, hurt, tired… the other Dean, smiling, holding the shock device.

_Dean…_The words wouldn't come out of Sam's mouth…shock tactics…he also recalled that day.

"Bravo Sam, bravo! You found us…just in time for the show".

Dean immediately had a response to his brother's name. With some effort, he raised his head. "Sam" he whispered.

Was he happy Sam had found him? Now, he wasn't so sure…not if that thing attempted to put his little brother to the same treatment.

Sam aimed his gun to the thing, forgetting all about the nun's words. " Leave my brother alone". He said firmly.

The thing grinned at Sam." Is that all you've got for me?"

All of sudden, Dean's captor was standing behind Sam, holding Sam's gun.

Sam didn't even notice or saw when the gun abruptly went from his hands to that thing's hand, and eventually, the gun was aimed to his head.

" No…please…I'll talk…you win ok…I'll say whatever…you want". Dean said when he saw Sam also becoming a target.

" Too late, your time is up Dean…I have another question for you". The thing sneered.

" Dean don't! Don't give up like that!" Sam shouted, the nun's words were echoing in his head. All he could do was to guide Dean…the rest wasn't up to him.

The thing pressed the gun hard to Sam's head. " Quiet Sammy…no talking, no prayers in Latin…unless you want to see your brother over there, getting another shock". Sam swallowed hard.

The thing then glared at Dean. " And you Dean…you'd better play along, or the last thing you'll see, will be your brother's brain spread all over this floor".

**I was going to keep writing and make this chapter a little longer, but, I decided to leave the other part for chapter 12, which might be the last…not sure yet.**

**Review! Let me know if you liked! And have a great day!**


	12. Attitude

**Note: This is the last chapter so, I'd like first to give some special thanks to all the people who have been reading this fic and leaving me their opinions. Thanks for the reviews! That's what gave me the inspiration to finish this story. I couldn't be happier:) **

**And…still own nothing about supernatural. But I'm so curious for the last episode!**

**Chapter 12 - Hope you like it!**

As Dean had already been through hell with his captor, he was quite sure that thing was capable of blowing Sam's brain, meaning that joking time was over.

He had never felt so uncomfortable before, so defenseless. There wasn't much he could do for Sam right now, unless obey his instincts and do what his captor wished. _Great back up plan Dean…do the obvious._ There was no back up plan and no way out, he didn't really have the strength anyway.

" I told you…I'll say…whatever…you want ok?". Dean agreed.

Sam had something a whirlwind of emotions going on within him. That had to be over, quickly. He could barely stare at Dean. His brother was in a terrible shape. Sam couldn't remember the last time he saw Dean so fragile like that. It just wasn't like him to give the guy what they wanted. Yet, he knew Dean would make the craziest decision if Sam's life was involved. That's what Sam was afraid of.

" What would you do for your brother Dean?" The thing asked always keeping the gun aimed at Sam.

That question, he didn't even hesitate to answer. " I'd do anything… for him, but you already…already… know that". Dean assured. Dean's body was still freezing and shivering.

" Dean shut up". Sam said calmly. The thing waved the shock device in front of Sam's eyes one more time. " Quiet Sammy". He said in a threatening way. " Your brother isn't made of steel…this thing hurts like hell". He finished the sentence making Sam rethink his attitude.

" We've had a long chat about your bad decisions Dean…now I ask you..." The thing makes a short pause and continues. " Would you be able to carry your brother's death on your shoulders for the rest of your life?"

_Oh God, not that one!_ Sam thought. Was that the last resource? Blaming Dean for Sam's death? _Such a low blow…_

" No". Dean answered dryly. " I'd never …be able…to…forgive…myself". Sam had some drops of tears held in his eyes. He'd never be able to carry the responsibility of Dean's death either. It was just too much. Jessica's death had already been too much.

" I figured as much. So…if I tell you that, the only way for your baby brother to get out of here alive is, for you to give up on your life…what would you say?".

" Don't you dare answering that!" Sam shouted totally forgetting about the gun aimed to his brain and the shock device.

The thing shook his head. " I've had it with you Sammy! Quiet means quiet!" The thing shouted approaching Dean, still aiming at Sam.

He pressed the device on Dean's abdomen, just for a couple of seconds this time, in order to warn Sam. Dean greeted his teeth and was only able to let out a painful though kinda loud moan.

Sam had to hold his despair not to cause more pain for his brother. It was automatic for the brothers to be taken by the impulse when they desperately wanted to easy each other's sorrow. He felt like running toward Dean and getting him out there.

" Damn it! I'd say yes! Just…do…do it already!" Dean shouted back angry answering the previous question he'd been asked.

" Calm down Dean". The thing stepped away from him and approached Sam again. " I guess you're a lucky guy Sam, you brother prefers to die…in order to save you. Isn't that just sweet?"

Sam felt his blood boil.

" No!". Sam shouted again. Now he was the one who had had it. The situation was getting carried away. Dean wasn't getting the whole point. Screw the gun and everything else. Dean had to understand.

_I'm sorry Dean._ Sam thought. _But I can't let you do this._ He decided.

" Listen to me damn it! I don't blame you for a darn thing, dad doesn't either! So stop this 'protecting me' shit and get over your fucking guilt! It's the only way!" he said at the top of his voice.

Both Dean and his captor looked at Sam in disbelief. The only reason why Dean didn't get so surprised at his brother's rage was probably because lately, Sam had shown it a lot more often. Especially when his dad was around. He had been raising his voice and putting out all his emotions, not keeping his thoughts to himself in any situation.

Dean's pleas for Sam to be quiet and stop asking so many questions when John gave them an order were totally in vain. Dean also knew Sam was willing to give up a lot if he could send some evil demons back to where they belonged; obviously, he was willing give up anything to save Dean's ass.

_The only way._ Those words echoed inside Dean's mind. He had gotten the message. All his captor had used so far to get to him was his guilt, therefore, no guilt, no captor. _Can't believe I didn't figure this out before!_ He laughed quietly at himself.

The gun his captor had previously given to him, after that nightmare with the coffins and the church, wouldn't do any harm to this freak, that's why, he was so calm about it.

" You shouldn't have said that Sam". The thing said placing his finger to the trigger.

" Wait!" Dean screamed getting his captor's attention a second before he'd squeeze that trigger. " We have…a deal...I said yes". Dean had to buy some time to let Sam words sink in…Sam didn't blame him for anything, his dad didn't blame him either. He had to get attached to those words. It was the only way indeed.

" My brother lives…I give up my life…am I right?" Dean said with some difficulties, trying to put himself together after the last shock, plus the cold. " You can't…kill Sam".

The gun was put down. " You're right Dean, you did say yes…we have a deal". He gave Sam a dirty look. " You're really lucky _Sammy_". The thing said teasing him.

" Am I allowed to… say goodbye, at least?" Dean asked, trying to turn his words into a plea, making it sound believable.

Sam gave his brother a confused look.

The captor let out a sigh. " God, this sounds like a soap opera! What a drama!"

" Please". Dean said again. " You got what you wanted". He finished.

Every word that came out of Sam's mouth seemed to become a tragic consequence, so Dean managed a way for them to talk, without guns being aimed or shock devices being used. A goodbye wouldn't be denied.

" Fine, but be quick". His captor said.

" Dean, please, we can get out of."

" Sam listen". Dean cut him off before he finished his sentence. " I'm sorry for you not having the… innocence a child should have had…and…I'm sorry…for leaving you alone…when we were kids…I wish I could have…have given you the…most normal…childhood …as possible". _They don't blame me._ Dean kept that in mind while he talked.

Sam was getting to Dean's point now. That was not a goodbye; Dean was dealing with his guilt. To open himself up like that was a major effort for him.

Sam would see Dean hurt; bleeding, dying and he wouldn't care. But to see his vulnerability was never in his plans.

He knew Dean would need some assurance when he gotten through his issues. Assurance that he was forgiven. Sam's eyes begged Dean to go on. He was on track.

" I wish I could've saved…the people who died out of a bad decision I made…and…".

His captor suddenly felt a great lack of strength. Then he realized what his victim had planned. He had been cheated.

" Enough! I won't let you go through this". He said going aggressively toward Dean.

" You have saved a lot more than you lost Dean. Think about them. Families that will live happily because of us; because of you". Sam said in a hurry.

The captor freed Dean's hands from the cuffs making him fall on the floor on his knees, not being strong enough to deal with his weight. The gun was placed close to him. He wanted Dean to end his life.

" Your life…for Sam's life" His captor could barely say the words out of weakness. He certainly hadn't seen that coming. " Now!".

Dean slowly felt his broken fingers getting back to normal. As he only felt them breaking, when his captor began losing his power over Dean, all the damage was being undone.

" You forgive me… Sam?" Dean asked staring the floor, not wanting to pick up the gun. He pleaded his mind not to betray him on more time. He had to get over the guilt, faster than any human being had ever tried before.

" I never blamed you…but if you need forgiveness…than yes. Of course I forgive you and I want you to forgive me too, for everything". Sam said already smiling in victory. The captor was fading away little by little.

" No!" The captor grabbed the gun, using all his remaining strength. " You broke…our deal Dean". The he aimed the gun at Sam. " You just killed…your…brother".

Sam squeezed his eyes shut waiting for the shot…a shot that never came. When he opened his eyes again, few seconds later, all he saw was the gun and Dean's weak body still kneeling on the floor. Nothing else. His brother's captor was gone. Back to where he belonged.

With Sam's last statement, Dean felt a real relief… he retrieved an incredible peace of mind. A peace he hadn't tasted in years. When this sensation took Dean over, his evil side, his torturer; just vanished away.

Dean started laughing and crawled close to his brother.

" You scared me there for a second". Sam said helping Dean to his feet.

" You underestimate me little brother". He put his arms around Sam. " One Dean is enough around here, that freak wasn't as handsome anyway".

" Yeah, whatever you say". Sam led his brother outside the house.

Fortunately, Dean 's captor had driven them to the house and the Impala was parked in front of it.

" So umm, do you really feel all that mess of guilt Dean?" Sam wondered.

" Oh God, I had enough of this talk, not you Sam". Dean sat on the passenger's seat. Driving was out of question now.

Sam closed the door and started the car. " I was just wondering…I mean…a lot of the things you feel guilty for, is not even your fault".

" Dean picked a new jacket and put on to contain his cold. " I was feeling guilty ok? That thing made me recall all the crap I worked hard to forget". Then he grabbed the box with his cassette tapes. " But I don't feel guilty now…not anymore…thanks to you".

He put on 'Black in black' from ACDC and smiled at Sam. " Now drop it, before I go crazy and ask you for a hug". He finished with a grin.

" Alright…jerk".

" Bitch". Dean answered. Things were finally over and getting back to normal.

" Do I take you to the hospital?" Sam asked seeing his brother's condition.

Dean smirked. " Nah…I just need a bed… and a couple of beers". He turned the music up and sang along. Sam could help but laugh. His brother would always be the same old Dean, no matter what.

The end.

**Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed the end…please, let me know. Leave a review! Have a great day and once again, Thanks:)**


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